Christian Troy

I was sitting home watching Nip/Tuck the other day (one of my favorite shows in the world) and i can't exactly remember what Christian Troy was doing, but if your a fan of the show you know it was probably not something good. Now as someone who is normally a fan of the Villain in most shows or movies, i was always puzzled as to why i was never a fan of Christian Troy. And it came to me while watching that episode. Christian Troy is a really REALLY bad person. Worst then any Villain.

Like i explained in my previous blog, the appeal of a villain to me is the complexity of their character. They're story. Why they are the way they are. What led them to be such a vile villainous person. But normally, even with the villain, they always have a soft spot for someone. Just 1 person. Christian Troy, had a soft spot for no one. Not his best friend, his fiance, his wives, or even his son. Sometimes i understood his logic. But most times i just sat there and shook my head in disbelief.

Most of the time, the villain is victim to jealousy. That's usually their reason to be so evil, thus trying to take out the good guy. But Christian's issue wasn't just jealousy. It was self hate. And when you hate yourself, you can't really love anyone else. But from our point of view of the show, Christian had absolutely no reason to hate himself as much as he did. He was good looking, filthy rich, and smart. Not as smart as his partner, but i mean he was a plastic surgeon. That's usually how it is with the really bad people though, people who from the human eye, have no reason in the world to hate themselves. Those inner demons are a bitch.

I'm a believer that there really are truly bad evil people in this world. Not the kind that are jealous of envious of a person. So they are just cruel to them. That's typical "Bad Guy" behavior. No, i mean really evil people. People who could care less about anyone but themselves. The kind of people that really don't have a conscious. They can hurt their best friend, brother, sister, wife, husband, or anyone that is close to them, without really thinking about it. Misery does love company. But i think once misery manifests into a lifestyle, that's something completely different. Theirs no saving that. (At least not without the help of a serious therapist)

I always say we as humans, always make the mistake of believing we are the only exception in most of these bad people's lives, because we believe they love us. We can watch them do such awful stuff to other people, but when you love someone you think, "They would never do that to me." But a bad person, will be a bad person. They don't really know how to truly love someone. Or be their friend. They love themselves more then anyone else, so they wouldn't care to learn how to be a better person. They may try to change, because they love you, but eventually, the real them will seep through. Sometimes they may even do good things. Bad people do good things sometimes, just like good people sometimes do bad things. Its about being able to tell which was genuine.

I read somewhere a along time ago that if you really want to see a person's true self, look at how the treat other people. People that they don't know. Pay attention in how they interact day to day with random people. The lady at the drive through at McDonald's or the waiter at a restaurant. That's when they're true character will show. And please don't believe them when they say they'll never do it to you. Because when mad day comes, not only will they do it to you, they'll do it 10 times worst.

An Honesty Box Message.

(Click message to see it clearer if its to blurry)

Its always so funny to see what random people think of you. I've never thought i was so strikingly good looking that people thought i was stuck up. Nor did i ever think i gave off the illusion that i had lots of money. But people will see what they want to see. Its almost flattering, but its from a male. Go figure.

Yes, I am judging you.

Judgmental: Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones

I sat on twitter the other day, and watched my friends joke with someone, back and forth, who I just don’t see it for. So, naturally, I began to run down all the reasons in my mind why this person just disgusted me in such a way. Then I realized something....I’m Judgmental. My friends had been telling me this for a while now, so it’s not like I hadn’t heard it before. I just never agreed.

Is that her nose?

So after watching the “Keeping up with the Kardashian” episode when Kim had her whole “botched Botox” debacle, I decided to write this blog.

So clearly, we all know that plastic surgery happens in Hollywood. Your fav, and mine have all had some work done. Whether you want to admit it or not, THEY’VE HAD WORK DONE! It’s just the reality of Hollywood. These people are not born looking like this. They have the best physical trainers, the best make up artist, fake hair for days, and they diet…not for months to shed a few pounds…for years.

And Let The Church Say....Amen

I’ve spent pretty much my entire life raised in your stereotypical southern Baptist church. For 18 years I went faithfully every Sunday. Sunday school from 8:30 am to 10:00, followed by the Service from 10:45 to 1:00 pm. My mother, was (and still is) the Minster of Music. Director of the Choir. And on the Board of Trustee. I mean she went the whole 9 yards. You get where I’m going.

My Father is a different story. For the 18 years that I was forced to go to church my father went about 8 times. And that was for Christmas. He never said he didn’t believe in God, his was response was always “I believe in Nature”.

My relationship with the church has been a rocky one. As soon as I was 19 I stopped going. For about 4 years. My views changed. I stopped believing in organized religion (For various reasons that would obviously turn into a novel not a blog entry). But I have a great relationship with God. I pray everyday. Maybe I don’t do it traditionally on my knees every night and morning, but it definitely gets done.

About a year ago, I started going back to church. Now I won’t lie, it was somewhat therapeutic in some aspects. I heard some great, fulfilling sermons. But at the end of the day, I still felt the same way, and I’ve stopped going again.

This situation with Bishop Eddie Long really hit home for me. For many reasons.

Married-Separated-Divorced?

So i decided to tackle this issue since it seems to be the new big issue. Is dating while married ever ok? Or separated? Here's my take on it.

Relationship 101

I think we all have in our minds, before we ever get into a relationship, how we would imagine the perfect relationship for ourselves to be. How it would look from the outside. And how it would be on the inside. And of course once in a relationship, its nothing like we imagine.

I'm a firm believer that people should create their own rules to their relationship. There is no guide to tell us what to do. No one has the picture perfect relationship like in the movies. All relationships have problems. Some people fight. Some people don't. Some get cheated on. Some don't. Some just don't see eye to eye at all. But at the end of the day its all about love. And when you love someone, you compromise. Your rules changes. You may have to adjust. Not settle, but compromise. And what works for YOU, works for YOU. What works for you, may not work for your friend. And what works for your friend, may not work for you.

I think people's biggest problem these days are worrying about trying to conform to what they believe a "perfect" relationship should be. When in actuality a good relationship is a happy one. As long as your happy, your good. Now some people may not know the difference between being happy, and being content. But that comes with being in love. Love does that to you. It blinds you in a sense. Deludes the mind from seeing whats obviously right in front of your face. But it also opens your eyes to see things that others can't.

My relationship advice to any and everyone is do you. My longest relationship to date is 5 yrs. And they were a 5 rocky years. But i never not once regret a thing. I've learned so much. And changed so much. And grown. I've put up with things, that i would have never in my life thought i would put up with. I've done things completely out of character.Do i wish some things could have been done differently? Definitely. But again, there is no guide to tell us what to do. For a very long time i compared my relationships to other relationships to either:

A. Make myself feel better about my relationship.

or

B. Told myself it needed to be over because thats not how my relationship was.

But at the end of the day i realized its my relationship. We make the rules. What works for us, works for us. It doesn't matter what outsiders think, or what advice your friends have to offer. Only you can say what YOU can deal with. Only you can say if you are happy. And if you are happy, and i mean truly happy, then your doing better then most people are and you probably don't even know it. Your doing better then that couple who never fights, but are just together because they "get along" not because their "in love". Or the married couple who have been together f0r 20 + years, but don't even speak.

Not everyday is going to be a good day. But everyday shouldn't be a bad day either. I've learned over these years to never judge someone for the choices they make in their relationship. Because even though I may not understand how they do it...its not my relationship. So what i think, doesn't matter.

The one thing i do know is this. Everyone deserves love. And everyone deserves respect. And once you establish that, you can build the rest any way the 2 of you see fit.

Good luck and love with all your heart. Its always worth it, even if it doesn't work out sometimes.