Relationship 101

I think we all have in our minds, before we ever get into a relationship, how we would imagine the perfect relationship for ourselves to be. How it would look from the outside. And how it would be on the inside. And of course once in a relationship, its nothing like we imagine.

I'm a firm believer that people should create their own rules to their relationship. There is no guide to tell us what to do. No one has the picture perfect relationship like in the movies. All relationships have problems. Some people fight. Some people don't. Some get cheated on. Some don't. Some just don't see eye to eye at all. But at the end of the day its all about love. And when you love someone, you compromise. Your rules changes. You may have to adjust. Not settle, but compromise. And what works for YOU, works for YOU. What works for you, may not work for your friend. And what works for your friend, may not work for you.

I think people's biggest problem these days are worrying about trying to conform to what they believe a "perfect" relationship should be. When in actuality a good relationship is a happy one. As long as your happy, your good. Now some people may not know the difference between being happy, and being content. But that comes with being in love. Love does that to you. It blinds you in a sense. Deludes the mind from seeing whats obviously right in front of your face. But it also opens your eyes to see things that others can't.

My relationship advice to any and everyone is do you. My longest relationship to date is 5 yrs. And they were a 5 rocky years. But i never not once regret a thing. I've learned so much. And changed so much. And grown. I've put up with things, that i would have never in my life thought i would put up with. I've done things completely out of character.Do i wish some things could have been done differently? Definitely. But again, there is no guide to tell us what to do. For a very long time i compared my relationships to other relationships to either:

A. Make myself feel better about my relationship.

or

B. Told myself it needed to be over because thats not how my relationship was.

But at the end of the day i realized its my relationship. We make the rules. What works for us, works for us. It doesn't matter what outsiders think, or what advice your friends have to offer. Only you can say what YOU can deal with. Only you can say if you are happy. And if you are happy, and i mean truly happy, then your doing better then most people are and you probably don't even know it. Your doing better then that couple who never fights, but are just together because they "get along" not because their "in love". Or the married couple who have been together f0r 20 + years, but don't even speak.

Not everyday is going to be a good day. But everyday shouldn't be a bad day either. I've learned over these years to never judge someone for the choices they make in their relationship. Because even though I may not understand how they do it...its not my relationship. So what i think, doesn't matter.

The one thing i do know is this. Everyone deserves love. And everyone deserves respect. And once you establish that, you can build the rest any way the 2 of you see fit.

Good luck and love with all your heart. Its always worth it, even if it doesn't work out sometimes.