So i decided to tackle this issue since it seems to be the new big issue. Is dating while married ever ok? Or separated? Here's my take on it.
I think the whole world saw the whole Alicia Keyes/Mashonda/Swizz Beats thing go down.
Mashonda is screaming that Alicia Keys stole her husband. Swearing that Alicia is sleeping with her man and that she needs to step back and let her salvage what is left of her marriage. She let the world know how much pain she was in. She let the world know that Alicia Keys is a home wrecker. And to add insult to injury Alicia Keys is pregnant with Mashonda's husband's child.
Swizz Beats says him and Mashonda have been separated. Period. It's been over. And that's just that.
Alicia is quiet as a pet cat.
Ok, so this is what makes the situation questionable. IF Mashonda and Swizz Beats were separated was Alicia Keys wrong for dating him in the 1st place? Are you just not supposed to date if your separated from your spouse? I mean we all know divorce can take some time, sometimes well over a year to get finalized. I know in Louisiana, you have to be legally SEPARATED for 6 months before they will even begin any type of divorce talk. So for those 6 months are you not to see or date anyone else? I know some people believe married is married, and until your DIVORCED your married. But i just feel like if your SEPARATED your no longer TOGETHER. And just because paper work is involved your still NOT TOGETHER.
Secondly, i'm a fond believe that when a man and a woman take vows to each other, they are the ones taking the VOWS. Not the rest of the world. Which means Mashonda in MY opinion, should not have said a word to anyone but Swizz Beats. Alicia Keys does not owe Mashonda a thing on this green earth. Swizz Beats and Mashonda took those vows. Not Alicia Keys. She shouldn't be asking Alicia Keys not to sleep with her husband, she should be asking her husband not to be sleeping with other women. A woman cannot wreck a home. If she can, that it was never a home to begin with, it was an imitation of one. If Swizz Beats did not leave Mashonda for Alicia Keys, please know that he would have left her for someone else.
Now before you have a fit, let me say this. I do think sleeping with a married person is MORALLY wrong, IF they are still MARRIED literally AND figuratively. What i mean by that is if THEY ARE STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP. To be sleeping with a man, who is sleeping with his wife every night is trifling. That is what one would consider an affair. And i would never support adultery. Ever. But if they are separated, living in separate places, and are just married by paper work, i'm sorry, but i don't see the crime in that. Its 2010. I know people who have been married for years, and don't even live together anymore. Simply married by paper, but don't conform to the meaning of it in any way shape or form. And i won't judge them. And neither should you.
Then we have situations like Fantasia's. She was seeing Antwuan Cook, who is married, but she believed was separated. Turns out, he and his wife weren't separated. They were still very much together. Unbeknown to Fanny of course. Drove her to attempt suicide.
Now situations like Fantasia's is why I personally, would never date anyone married, even if they are separated. I consider that baggage. And if i don't come with any baggage, i'm not looking for someone who does. But again, thats my personal opinion. I would never judge anyone for dating someone who is separated or going through a divorce. And it amazes me how quickly people are to throw stones. But everyone has different views on how marriage goes and how it works.
I couldn't have said it any better.
ReplyDeleteWhat's sad about this entire debacle is that Alicia received the most flack from it. Maybe because she is the "star" of the situation, who knows. I saw a lot of people making the comment that Alicia preaches about positivity and does something like this...but what did she do? Have a relationship with a man who was separated from his wife. What's wrong with that. As you said divorces could take years to finalize. Had it been stretched for 5 years, would Alicia be wrong then? I think they're judgement would be different. - Also, Alicia has handled this so gracefully...by not acknowledging it AT ALL. Which makes Mashonda look like a bigger fool.
Mashonda's story has switched so many times about what happened. One interview she says that were separated but trying to work it out, another she says they were never separated.... we're gonna "Pray for Forgiveness" for that child.
I commend Swizz on tactfully handling the situation (except that day on twitter lol). He could have been a dog and pursued other women while involved with Mashonda, but he waited until they were formally separated.
*I know you wrote this a while ago, but it's so seldom that I read others that see it from the same perspective that I do.