Assholes Never Prosper.

      The first asshole I ever met in my life was a woman named Francis. Francis Stroughter. She was absolutely wretched. Just nasty, for no reason at all. She was my grandmother. According to her brother, she was never a personable woman. Then when she married my grandfather upon graduating from college...well...it was all down hill from there. My grandfather was a wealthy man. And like most wealthy men, he had a rather "wealthy" appetite for women. She was a teacher, at first. With her anger and bitterness growing due to my grandfather's actions, she eventually quit. She'd run out of couth, and being at a school everyday required just that. She became a stay at home wife. She collected movies, sowed quilts, and shopped religiously. I remember exploring their huge mansion and venturing into her walk in closet where she housed her collection of Gucci bags. The only person she was ever nice to was me, and sometimes my father. She didn't fancy the company of women. She didn't care for my mother. Didn't even attend my parent's wedding. She didn't care for my little sister either. I remember my mother actually having to make my father reprimand my grandmother because her favoritism was so blatant. She would buy me big grandiose birthday gifts. She give my sister small cards.And that's if she felt like doing that. As long as I could remember she was just not a friendly woman. She was always angry. Always bitter. Filled with resentment. She never made excuses for it. She knew how she was, and didn't care that people didn't care for her. She would rather not be bothered anyway. She had one friend. A woman I still to this day, have never met because she never visited.
 

  
     The night my grandfather was shot, my grandmother was the last person to see him. She had went to visit him in the hotel room he was staying at because she had put him out of the house. This had to be when I was about 10 years old. I used to always wonder why no one ever assumed SHE shot him. It wasn't until my adulthood I learned that after she visited him that night in the hotel room, he shot HIMSELF.

      Little by little people trickled out of Francis life. Her two daughter's stopped speaking to her. My father tried to maintain a relationship with her. It was...difficult. She eventually went on to stay in a nursing home the last few years of her life. She averaged about 3 visitors a month. Myself, my father, and sometimes her brother. She died alone. Still angry. And bitter.

     I was recently having lunch with a friend from high school. We laughed about how much of an asshole I used to be. I asked how why did she deal with me. She told me I was never an asshole to her, I was only an asshole to other people. Most of my close friends gave me to exact same response. Everyone knew I was an asshole, they just kind of accepted it because I was never an asshole to them. They thought it was cool. And in high school, it might have been. At that point in time the only thing important is being "cool". People usually flocked to the asshole, because if the asshole was nice to them, well then they must be cool enough to hang with him.

     Luckily times have changed. And so have I. Because I became aware of my off putting ways I made an extra effort to learn how to speak without offending people. Using words that aren't so...harsh. And watching my tone of voice when I say certain things. I smile when I speak to people. I look them in the eye. I'm not so dismissive, even if I don't want to be bothered. And when I feel like I'm to tired of being friendly, I go home. Of course we live in a world where people don't like the truth. And lying is something that I simply refuse to do. So I know I'll always be labeled as an asshole to some people for being brutally honest. But I can accept that.

     Moral of the story is, being an asshole in adult hood, doesn't work. Unless you're Kanye West, and lets be real...you're NOT Mr. West. If I don't know anything about people, one thing is for sure: nobody likes to be treated like shit. Nobody. Nobody likes to be talked down to or dismissed. You won't find a person on this green earth who would prefer to deal with your juvenile ways, rather than a regular adult who is up to average social standards. You will find some low self esteem having person who MAY deal with it, and if that's the company you like to keep, well then have at it. There is a place in the world for assholes, and that's a very lonely place. Nobody has time to deal with someone who is socially retarded and doesn't know how to speak to people, or doesn't CARE how they speak to people. If you don't know how to maneuver through this life without being rude to people you need to GROW UP and LEARN. The world doesn't stop for anyone's short comings. Unless of course you're rich and famous. But my response to that is, for ever rich asshole, there is some one richer who is humble and gracious. And you can't be an asshole to someone with more money then you.