Relationship 101

I think we all have in our minds, before we ever get into a relationship, how we would imagine the perfect relationship for ourselves to be. How it would look from the outside. And how it would be on the inside. And of course once in a relationship, its nothing like we imagine.

I'm a firm believer that people should create their own rules to their relationship. There is no guide to tell us what to do. No one has the picture perfect relationship like in the movies. All relationships have problems. Some people fight. Some people don't. Some get cheated on. Some don't. Some just don't see eye to eye at all. But at the end of the day its all about love. And when you love someone, you compromise. Your rules changes. You may have to adjust. Not settle, but compromise. And what works for YOU, works for YOU. What works for you, may not work for your friend. And what works for your friend, may not work for you.

I think people's biggest problem these days are worrying about trying to conform to what they believe a "perfect" relationship should be. When in actuality a good relationship is a happy one. As long as your happy, your good. Now some people may not know the difference between being happy, and being content. But that comes with being in love. Love does that to you. It blinds you in a sense. Deludes the mind from seeing whats obviously right in front of your face. But it also opens your eyes to see things that others can't.

My relationship advice to any and everyone is do you. My longest relationship to date is 5 yrs. And they were a 5 rocky years. But i never not once regret a thing. I've learned so much. And changed so much. And grown. I've put up with things, that i would have never in my life thought i would put up with. I've done things completely out of character.Do i wish some things could have been done differently? Definitely. But again, there is no guide to tell us what to do. For a very long time i compared my relationships to other relationships to either:

A. Make myself feel better about my relationship.

or

B. Told myself it needed to be over because thats not how my relationship was.

But at the end of the day i realized its my relationship. We make the rules. What works for us, works for us. It doesn't matter what outsiders think, or what advice your friends have to offer. Only you can say what YOU can deal with. Only you can say if you are happy. And if you are happy, and i mean truly happy, then your doing better then most people are and you probably don't even know it. Your doing better then that couple who never fights, but are just together because they "get along" not because their "in love". Or the married couple who have been together f0r 20 + years, but don't even speak.

Not everyday is going to be a good day. But everyday shouldn't be a bad day either. I've learned over these years to never judge someone for the choices they make in their relationship. Because even though I may not understand how they do it...its not my relationship. So what i think, doesn't matter.

The one thing i do know is this. Everyone deserves love. And everyone deserves respect. And once you establish that, you can build the rest any way the 2 of you see fit.

Good luck and love with all your heart. Its always worth it, even if it doesn't work out sometimes.

All Press is NOT Good Press.

For some reason, people in Hollywood (and other places) really believe that All Press is Good Press. I guess i can understand the "concept" of the statement. If your in the press, for WHATEVER reason,people are invested. They see you. Your shinning. But my only problem with this HOW do they see you.

The problem is your reputation. If your willing to sacrifice your character, then by all means do something that will get you some "Press". People really will do anything for those 15 minutes of fame. I guess i can't understand it because seriously...

who ONLY wants 15 minutes?

When your reputation proceeds you, you end up like Lindsey Lohan. You could be the most talented beautiful actress in the world. But all that negative press, that people are telling you is "Good", kind of kicks you in the ass when your trying to get work. She can't land a movie role to save her soul.

Now, in some instances is does work. Most reality stars can really abide by the whole "All press is Good press" Because they only strive for their 15 minutes. They have no talent to sustain them anyway. It also worked for Britney Spears. Her albums will still sell. And her tours still sell out. She gets awful reviews. She can't land a endorsement to save her live. She still can't get her kids back. But she can at least sell albums. I wonder whats more important to her....

But for the most part, i personally, don't believe it works. It normally looks like a cry for desperation. And usually works in reverse. This whole Lil Kim Vs. Nicki Minaj thing has people "noticing" Kim, since she's been out of remission. She was NEVER irrelevant in my mind. But she seems to think that she was. We see you Kimberly Jones. Now lets see if her new single will do well. Lets see if she can sell some albums AGAIN. Because like i stated in my last blog, i'm a huge fan, but this "desperate act" turned me OFF.

She BETTER come back with something sickening. And HOT! Or her 15 minutes will die down to. And She's ACTUALLY good at what she does!

And last but not least we all have to remember the biggest cry for help in 2009, to get some "Buzz" around her already decaying career. She is a PRIME example of why All Press is NOT Good Press....

Ms. Keri Baby. Dissing Queen Beyonce...to get no response...and poor albums sales. Betcha she wishes she had done something different. Now she's an Avon Lady...Selling cosmetics backstage.

Oh Lil Kim...

So i would call it "beef" but that would involve 2 people. This clearly only involves one.

So i'm sure you all know the blogs have erupted last week with Lil Kim's rampage of slurs and disses against Nicki Minaj. Dividing fans of both the female rappers and starting vicious wars on twitter between them. Lil Kim really has done so much its kind of hard to recap. But to make a long story short The Queen Bee feels like Nicki Minaj has not paid homage to her for using her formula to become the growing emcee she is today. If you haven't been updated you can click here

As a huge fan of both, initially i was neither #TeamLilKim or #TeamNickiMinaj because i think beef is stupid in general. Both of them are good! There is enough room for both of you. Nicki Minaj is getting bigger and bigger every feature, and Lil Kim is a legend. She has us fans just waiting for her to drop a hard 16 and come back to us.

Now as a hardcore Kim fan, i will say this. It is obvious to any TRUE Lil Kim fan, that Nicki Minaj is doing her 90's look, just with 2010 spin on it. That's clear. We know that. BUT that was the 90s. And Lil Kim, you did do it 1st. But seriously, what are you mad for? Imitation is the highest form of flattery. So why get mad. Every since Nicki Minaj has stepped into the game people have been calling her an imitation Kim. And thats fine. It didn't stop Nicki, and it really shouldn't make Kim mad. And its not like Lil Kim is still running with that look now a days anyway. You left the Barbie thing and the wigs alone a long time ago. So by all means let her play with your toys. I don't think its a problem.

MOVIE REVIEW: Sex and The City 2

So because i was so hopelessly devoted to the 1st movie i decided to do a review on the 2nd. We all know the 2nd movie has been getting some really bad reviews from fans and critics alike, so i decided to break it down for everyone. (In my own opinion of course)

Don't ask my advice.

You know what's funny about asking someone for "advice"?

Most of the time..more then half of the time...you know exactly what you need to do in the given situation. You just want to ask someone for "advice" so they will tell you what you want to hear. So that it'll justify the stupid decision that you want to make, but you know deep down that you shouldn't. So now you can blame it on the "advisor". When in actuality both of you know the truth. But nobody likes the truth. Especially when its ugly.

Don't ask my advice. Cause the kinda bitch i am, i'm going to tell you exactly what you should do. The real truth. And your still going to do what you WANT to do. Your either to scared, or not strong enough, or whatever you set back may be. But you know what that means?....


....You've wasted my time. And time is one of the few things, that you can never get back. So next time save your oxygen for somebody who doesn't wanna hurt your feelings. And i can save mine for someone who REALLY needs it, not for someone who wants to feel better about being a complete dumb ass.

Shoe Fetish: Summer Shoes

Make a statement this summer.

Hater?

There are many things in life that i know are just not meant for me to understand. The concept of a hater is one of them. I myself, have to much pride to hate on anyone. Hating stems from jealousy. And my mother taught me a long time ago that being jealous of what someone else has, is completely senseless.

I myself, never knew how much people hated me, or hated ON me for that matter, until of a little application for Facebook called "The Honesty Box" was invented. In case you don't know what that is, its a little inbox that people can feel free to express any thought or opinion about you, and do so in being completely anonymous. When i added the app to my Facebook profile..all hell broke loose. I was completely over-whelmed and shocked at the messages that flooded in. People would say things to me about myself that made me even ask "Are you sure you have the right person?"