I had a very, very shitty day today.
I try my hardest to stay positive. I try my hardest to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But the days are just getting harder and harder. I go to school, and take stupid classes that teach me things i know won't benefit my life. Then I go to work and talk to people who I think are complete idiots. Then I go back to school to take the one class i actually love (which is an English of course), and then go to the gym to get my 6 miles in. Day in, and day out, its the same routine. I tell myself I shouldn't complain about my job because some people don't even have jobs. I should be grateful that I can work part-time, and still pay all my bills and have a little money to buy clothes (the only other things aside from that English class, that I love). I feel like I'm being a spoiled brat. Maybe I am. Feel free to judge me. But it doesn't change the fact that, that the part of the time that I'm at that job, i hate it. I know we all have to do things that we don't want to do to get where we need to be. So that is what I'm doing. That is what i tell myself everyday. But sometimes it gets rough and i just wanna be like fuck this day. I'm sure everyone has those days.
Often I read other blogs and other people's stories for inspiration. I read other people's struggle to help motivate me to keep going. I'm not the only one in this fight. It doesn't make it any less hard, but it does make it easier to cope with in a sense. It helps me see the light. I watch Oprah's Master Class about her rise to the top of her empire. Such horrible circumstances she went through, all to be where she is today. I read Tyler Perry's story about how he slept in his car for weeks, homeless. How he spent the last of his savings to invest in his company, and now he's the highest paid man in Entertainment. Necole Bitchie, who was also homeless, lost her mother, had fallen down more times then she can count, to now be running one of the most successful blogs on the internet, and still conquering new territories. I know they had many days, hell, even months, where they just wanted to give up.
So I keep going. If they can, I know I can.
I think everyone has their struggles to go. I think the best thing is to take the challenges and make the best. I always worry about getting to a low point. That really scares me and even stops me from taking certain risks. I want to be comfortable! One of the many reasons I still frequent church. It helps keep me grounded and know there will be bad times. At least you have the blog where you can vent. That's always a good way to deal with those shitty days. Sometimes the posts just write themselves.
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