The Pursuit of Happiness

2 weeks ago I put in my 2 weeks notice at my job. My job where last year, i ended the year with 65k. This year, I'm sure i ended with no less then 55k. I guess we can all agree that's pretty good for a 24 year old guy with no children.

Well i quit. Without a new job lined up. All b/c one day i woke up and realized i didn't want to do this all my life. I thought long and hard for months about making this move. I walked around the with letter of resignation with me for about 2 weeks. The day i turned it in, i was sick. Sick to my fucking stomach.

I know what your thinking, I'm crazy. The economy is shit. Most people are blessed to have any job, let alone a job where your that kind of money. But the bottom line is, i wasn't happy. I was actually miserable. I dreaded waking up every day. One of my friends even suggested go to work with a different attitude. I tried. I woke up and told myself "TODAY IS GOING TO BE A GOOD DAY! Your going to like your job again!" And when i got into my car to go to work that day i believed it! It didn't work.

So i quit. And decided that i wanted to pursue my dreams. 1st i want to go back to school and get my degree. Which by the way, i wasn't able to do and work there. And then i would like to pursue my writing. For magazines, for papers,and possibly maybe even a book.

So what made me muster up the balls to do it? Well, like i said, i haven't been happy for a long time now. My relationship was on the rocks. I simply wasn't happy with where i was in my life. I wasn't "lost", b/c i knew where i wanted to be. I just hadn't figured out the formula on how to achieve my life goals.

Well one day Mother, Adrian (my father.why i call him by his 1st name is a another blog)my sister and I were on our way back to New Orleans from Biloxi, Mississippi. It was Mother's 60th B-Day.60! It's always ritual that i ask random questions when taking long trips. So my last question asked her was "Are you happy the way you life turned out?" She sat for about a minute and looked at me and said

"Ya know, I've lived a blessed life. I've done everything i ever wanted to do. I've traveled. I've taught music. I was a Principal for 8 years. I have 2 beautiful healthy children. I'm married. I'm happy. Even if everything didn't go in the order that i planned, i still achieved all my life goals. I'm truly blessed."

It was kinda like Oprah would call it, her "Ah ha" moment. I was so happy for her.

But then it made me think that at 24 years old I've achieved nothing that i wanted to do. I know i have my whole life to achieve my goals. But i wasn't moving forward towards accomplishing anything. Not one thing. I was working at this job that I was good at, but not happy at. I made lots of money, but i was miserable.

So now i begin my Pursuit of Happiness. I want to move. Get back in school. And start all over. At 24. I know it's going to take A LOT of adjusting. I'm accustomed to shopping whenever i want. Eating out. Designer shoes and glasses. My big beautiful apartment. My weekends off. Now I'm going to have to cut that in half. Probably less.

Not one person thought i was making the right decision. No one supported my move. Everyone asked me "Don't quit without finding another job." or "Why do you have to move, whats in Atlanta for you?" or "Your being selfish."

Well, today was my last day at AT&T. It was probably one of the happiest days i can remember having in a long time. And today when i called my mother she said "Jay, i'm so proud of you. Your going to be so happy in the long run." She'll always support me. Its the best feeling in the world to have support.

So next week off to Atlanta i go. To live on my sister's sofa and apply for jobs, schools and various intern ships at different magazines. I'm scared shit-less. But thrilled and excited at the same time. A feeling i haven't had in years. Maybe i'll be back. Who knows. But at least i can say i tried. Wish me luck!