Why Stopped Going To Church.

Its only natural that as you get older you begin to question some things that you were taught growing up. One of the best things about adult hood is that you get to make your own decisions, and choose what and what not you want to believe in. And you don't have to answer to anybody.

I was raised in a very religious home. I went to a baptist church uptown EVERY Sunday, rain or shine, sick or well. My mother was (and still is) the Minister of Music. Up at 8 am for Sunday School, till the service started at 11:30. It ended somewhere between 1 and 2:30 pm. Then I would have to go around and kiss all my "Aunts" like i didn't see them last Sunday, socialize, and smile. You know how it goes, it's an all day event.

I always questioned the little things, that to me, never made any sense or could be applied to things of this time period. Like sex before marriage :What if you never get married? Are you not to have sex? Divorce: I mean seriously, shit happens. What if you marry Ike Turner? But the straw that broke the camels back had to be the views on homosexuality.

I know the Bible is here to show us how to live a good and straight forward life in the eyes of God. Now i consider myself a rather logical person. I'm always down to hear the other person's point of views. I like things that make me question my own thoughts and beliefs. So i went to my Pastor about this issue about 5 or 6 years ago.

"Why are homosexuals going to hell?"

"It's not of God." My pastor responded. "God mad man to lie with a woman. Its a sin"

"So how do they get to heaven?"

"They must repent son. They must leave that blasphemous lifestyle alone and find Jesus. Repent and be baptized."

"But...if they didn't CHOOSE this lifestyle, how are they to leave it alone?"

"God doesn't make mistakes. Prayer and guidance can deliver anyone from a homosexual demon."

"But why is it a sin? Its not hurting anyone?"

"Its not of God. Its not how God intended man to live."

The conversation didn't really phase me. Every answer was pretty much what i figured it would be. Prayer. God. The usual. The bible speaks against Lying. Cheating. Killing. Stealing. And homosexuality. I can understand why lying, cheating, killing, and stealing are considered a SIN. To do any of them, would involve hurting someone else. They all require malicious and devious acts. Being gay doesn't require any. So why being gay a sin? Because the bible says so. And on top it being a SIN, it's not a choice. You choose to lie. You choose to cheat. You choose to kill. You choose to steal. You don't choose what your attracted to. You don't choose who you love. I'm sure if it was a choice, MANY would take the easier route, and choose to be straight. Life is hard enough. I don't know anybody who would choose to be gay. Who would choose to be judged and ridiculed, looked at funny, and constantly reminded that they are going to hell.

So after a few debates with my pastor, WE came to the conclusion that the only way a gay person is making it to God's Big House in the Sky is by simply "choosing" not to live the "gay" lifestyle. To live your life, alone, unhappy, and praying that one day, you will miraculously find the opposite sex attractive. There is NO other way. God does NOT allow gay people in heaven. PERIOD. While the girl who had her baby out of wed lock, says sorry Jesus, gets some holy water sprinkled on her head, and she's all in. Makes perfect sense.

I'm 26 years old. I know i have a lot more living to do. But i know this for sure: Your given one life. Just one. And you have to live it the best way you know how. Life is to short to being trying to fix something that was never broken. And I'm done trying to make sense of things that never made sense in the beginning. The Bible is a book of morals, but at the end of the day, morals are the same as opinions. You can't make me agree with your morals, just like i can't make you agree with mine. As long as your not harming anyone, your fine by me. Unfortunately, the Bible doesn't agree. And that's perfectly fine.

I had a friend who was atheist. He'll argue you down with scientific facts that God isn't real. I'm not here to try to convince you he's right. Nor do i agree with him. I believe in God. And i have my own personal relationship with him. But i also believe that the concept of "religion" is man made, and was made in order to instill morals in us human beings. I can't say where the world would be if the Bible never existed, but i can guess it would be a pretty hectic place. Just like it is now. Humans are not animals. We don't kill to survive or eat. So i can't imagine how much different it would be.

I have a gay friend who goes to church faithfully. Every Sunday (and Wednesday for Bible Study). He's even attempted to "be straight" in order to please Jesus. Granted, i don't judge people for their personal decisions, i can't help but to feel sorry for them. Children are killing themselves because the Bible says they are going to hell for something they have no control over. Because the world won't accept them for reasons that can't be explained aside from "Because its not of God." These people, with the same kind of human blood coursing through there veins, aren't allowed to marry who they love, like some kind of mutant, ALL because America believes in this book of morals that speaks against their life style. With no reason to support it. Meanwhile we have reality shows where people get married just to be on television and a check. Drunk people are getting married for fun in Vegas at the little chapel down the street.

Like I said before, I consider myself a very logical person. I do try my very hardest to see the other side of every argument. But you Christians really have me stumped on this. Especially with the ones with the broken hymen or 2 year old child...but no wedding ring. So you can keep your Bible. And your morals. And your Preacher in his big body Benz, telling people how to live their life. Until the Bible receives an update, you can have your religion to. I'll fend for myself. That's why i stopped going to church.