World Class Liar.

I remember the 1st lie ever told to me. It was by my (then) best friend Al. Al (real-name changed) and i were in the 2nd grade. We were having a debate about who would win out of a fight between Jean Gray and Rogue from X-Men. We were X-Men junkies. Had all the X-Men cards and comics and watched the show every Saturday morning. I was team Rogue (i mean let's be real, she's damn near super-man with out the x-ray vision) and he was team Jean Gray. Of course, debating is my best, and at every angle i believed Rogue could whip Jean's ass, and was proving it quite well. Then to advantage Jean Grey he blurted out that she could fly. We both knew this wasn't true. But Jean was loosing her battle. So he insisted that Jean Gray could fly. We had our fun debate until our parents arrived to pick us up that evening.

When i got home, i remember vividly racing into my room, ripping through my X-Men cards collection till i got to Jean Gray's card. Of course under her list of mutant abilities, flying was not one of them. I was furious! That lying little fucker. He knew that bitch couldn't fly! I wanted to call him up and read his ass for FILTH! My christian mother, of course wouldn't allow that. So instead I immediately decided we couldn't be friends anymore. He's a liar and i obviously couldn't surround myself with someone like that.

Of course having the kind heart that i do for my friends, me and Al continued being best friends from 2nd grade up to 6th grade. Through out those years he lied compulsively about any and everything. I remember one time when we were mad at each other and hadn't spoken for like 3 days, he came to me one day, while we were in a group of friends and said "Jonathan, my mom has cancer." I had 2 options:

A.Embarrass him in front of the 4 other people around because i knew he was lying.
Or
B. Be friends with him again, because my best friend was in pain.

Everyone was surprised and looked at me like i was crazy when i responded
"I need to hear that from her doctor."
He started crying. Everyone looked at me like i was the mean asshole. I began to feel bad. So i took him back into our friendship circle, which he had been exiled from for almost a week.

The next week i asked Al about his mother's cancer and he responded "Oh she's better."
Lying. Little. Fuck.

Me and Al were not longer friends after the 6th grade. We still to this day see each other randomly and he runs up to me and talks about all the things he's doing and the amazing relationships hes in and blah blah blah. All of which I'm sure is a lie. We've exchanged numbers a few times. The problem is he changes his number about once a month to escape some scandal he has created.

I hate liars. I can't stand to be lied to. My mother always told me: The easiest thing in the world to do is to tell the truth. And i believe her. I don't know why it's so necessary for people to lie about things. I know people who lie so much i actually question if they know the truth themselves. They actually believe these lies that they're telling me. And the only thing worst the a compulsive liar, and is BAD compulsive liar. Now its one thing to lie. But to tell me a bad lie, that just offends me on another level. It insults my intelligence. You actually think i would believe something as foolish as that? It's a sure to to immediately end our friendship. And if we do continue to be friends, i won't believe one word you say to me, which eventually will cause you not to want to be around me. I can be very blunt when i know I'm being lied to. They normally evoke statements like
"Look, get out my face with that dumb lyin." when being nice.
or Simply
"What? Shut the fuck up." followed by an vicious eye roll.

As far as the lying for cheaters. I myself am never offended by the "act" of cheating (unless its sex). I'm always more offended by the lies the other has to tell to accomplish the act. That is what ruins the relationship. Not the act. Giving into temptation i can understand. But the lying to cover it up. The lying to make up for the unexcused time. The lie about how yall met, through who, and why yall are communicating in the 1st place. That is what kills me. If you lied about that, how much more do you lie about? I know people hate to be caught. I myself have lied to get out of things. But i always feel terrible and i know the easiest way to get out of a lie now is to just not do it in the 1st place. If you have to lie about it, don't do it.

So before you form you mouth to tell you friend/spouse a lie just remember this: 9 times out of 10, the lie your about to tell, sounds like a lie. And just because the person your lying to doesn't argue with you about it, doesn't mean that they believe you. It simply means they have written you off as a liar, and therefor no further effort to argue with your lying ass is needed. I hope you sleep well tonight.