A Simple Formula

Lets Talk About Kimberly Kardashian.

2011-11-03T12:29:00.000-07:00

Exactly 72 Days ago my beloved Kimberly Noelle Kardashian had one of the most gigantic, over the top, expensive (20 million to be exact) weddings the world has ever seen. Because it happened so quick, and was such short notice, I couldn't attend. But in true Kimberly Kardashian style, it was broken up into a 2 day, 4 hour special which aired on E! Kim Kardashian's Fairy Tale Wedding.

As excited and filled with joy for my friend I was... I didn't watch it.

But I heard it was everything, and more. Duh. As much as I love my Armenian Barbie, I have ADD. I can't sit through 4 hours of ANYTHING, let alone wedding planning, Kris Jenner's face lift, and Kris Humphrie's sarcastic none-funny jokes. The little of it I did watch, was completely exhausting. I caught the wedding, and the 3 dress changes. Those were the important parts.

Of course everyone on twitter, the land where everyone's opinion is fact, was outraged when Kim got engaged.

"She's just wants to be loved!"

"She just wants to be married!"

"She's a hoe!"

"She's fake!"

I personally, never understood what was so far fetched about a 30 year old woman, at the peak of her VERY successful career, wanting to get married, and starting a family. But I guess most 30 year old successful single women wouldn't want that. Hmph.

Ironically, all the people who we're doing all the judging and what not, where tuned in for the 2 day, 4 hour special. Some funny characters yall are.

Well exactly 72 days after one of the most gigantic, over the top, expensive weddings the world has ever seen, took place....Kimberly filed for divorce. *weeps*

I think the only person who had a worst October 31st then Kim K was probably....myself.

Because everyone knows that Kim and I go as far back as the birth of Jesus....my inbox pretty much EXPLODED when the news erupted:

"I told you so"

"Well Jonathan, what do you think it was going to happen?" And that was just on twitter and FB.

Even my mother called me...

"Jay, I know this is going to be hard. But you know things just happen"

When I walked through the doors at work...everyone stopped and looked at me like they had been talking about me. And then I heard one of them whisper "Who's going to ask him?"

-sigh-

It was a long day. The trending topics. The embarrassment. All the ugly people feeling like they've won because Kim was getting a divorce. I wanted to cry like the Tyra Banks show was coming back on air. It was a catastrophe. I showed my support the best I could.

So what do I think? Well here it is. Do I think the wedding was a sham? No I don't. I think that in Kim Kardashian's mind she really thought that this was going to work. Now, I don't think she was in love with Kris. I do think she was in love with the idea of love, and getting married. Which is completely normal. You and I both have seen people try to make relationships work that CLEARLY...aren't meant to be. I think we could tell by the show that Kris Humphries was a tad bit difficult. He wasn't a "go with the flow" kind of guy like Reggie Bush was. He had an opinion about everything, even when it wasn't needed. He couldn't dress. He IS unemployed. And by Hollywood standards.... he's poor. Reports are saying they broke up because he wanted to move to Minnesota and she wanted to stay in NY/ LA for work. And I believe it. Who the fuck wants to live in Minnesota? I think Kim knew it wouldn't work a long time ago. But like MANY of us have done, she tried to make it work. She's just doing it in the public eye. I believed her when she said she didn't want to disappoint people.

People also have to look at her family and back round. Kris Jenner and Bruce married after 5 months of dating. They've been married for 20 years. Khloe and Lamar were dating for a WEEK before they were engaged, and married a month later. They're still going strong. So I know alot of people thought it was fake, because it was so soon. But in they're world, I seems to be fairly common. Scott and Kourtney have been together the longest, and from what I've read and heard they're relationship is actually the fake one. They said they've been broken up even before Mason was born. You know they know everything.

Now truth be told, it's reality TV. I do go back and forth with whether Kim really did this just for ratings, or if she really thought it would work. We know that much of their life is fabricated for television. Because that IS reality TV. But if it were just for TV, I think that for the sake of TV and her viewers, she would have stayed married longer. That's what makes me think this was a little more personal. I'm sure they knew that they would get negative press for this divorce being so soon. But all press IS good press for the Kardashians. People are going to tune in for her first tell all interview. She will make her media rounds. And we know if she doesn't do anything, she WILL find a way to make money off of this.

So maybe it was real. Maybe it was fake. We'll never know until one of those Kardashian's crack one day and go crazy and spill all their secrets. And when one of them does..i'll be front and center.

What irritates me most, is that people sit around and judge like they wouldn't DIE to live Kim Kardashian's life. Like they wouldn't do this if given the opportunity. The fact of the matter is this, Kim Kardashian gets paid millions on top of millions of dollars because she is beautiful. For no other reason. She capitalizes off of the worlds shallowness, and your mad at her for it? If given the chance to make a living off of taking pictures and endorsing products that you probably never use, YOU WOULD TAKE IT, and I'm not going to believe anything different. She's not famous only because of a simple sex tape. The sex tape was TERRIBLE! She's famous because she was a gorgeous girl ON a sex tape. So many celebrities have released sex tapes and it's not NOTHING for their career. Yet Kim was able to sell hers for 1 MILLION dollars and build and empire..and your mad? If anyone can do what Kim Kardashian does, then go try it and see. I'll wait.

Until then...the fact still remains, even with this divorce hooplah...Kim is still winning. She made $17.9 million off of a $20 million wedding she didn't pay a dime for. She made more then most pop stars and athletes make, on JUST her wedding. That's not even what she made from all of her endorsements, appearances, and tv shows she does. So while yall are laughing and tweeting away criticizing her and what not, she's laughing all the way to the bank. And she's still prettier then you. And you'll still be mad, when she gets married again next year, and gets another lump sum of millions.

Light.

2011-09-16T23:03:00.000-07:00

I had a very, very shitty day today.

I try my hardest to stay positive. I try my hardest to see the light at the end of the tunnel. But the days are just getting harder and harder. I go to school, and take stupid classes that teach me things i know won't benefit my life. Then I go to work and talk to people who I think are complete idiots. Then I go back to school to take the one class i actually love (which is an English of course), and then go to the gym to get my 6 miles in. Day in, and day out, its the same routine. I tell myself I shouldn't complain about my job because some people don't even have jobs. I should be grateful that I can work part-time, and still pay all my bills and have a little money to buy clothes (the only other things aside from that English class, that I love). I feel like I'm being a spoiled brat. Maybe I am. Feel free to judge me. But it doesn't change the fact that, that the part of the time that I'm at that job, i hate it. I know we all have to do things that we don't want to do to get where we need to be. So that is what I'm doing. That is what i tell myself everyday. But sometimes it gets rough and i just wanna be like fuck this day. I'm sure everyone has those days.

Often I read other blogs and other people's stories for inspiration. I read other people's struggle to help motivate me to keep going. I'm not the only one in this fight. It doesn't make it any less hard, but it does make it easier to cope with in a sense. It helps me see the light. I watch Oprah's Master Class about her rise to the top of her empire. Such horrible circumstances she went through, all to be where she is today. I read Tyler Perry's story about how he slept in his car for weeks, homeless. How he spent the last of his savings to invest in his company, and now he's the highest paid man in Entertainment. Necole Bitchie, who was also homeless, lost her mother, had fallen down more times then she can count, to now be running one of the most successful blogs on the internet, and still conquering new territories. I know they had many days, hell, even months, where they just wanted to give up.

So I keep going. If they can, I know I can.

All Out Of Fake Smiles.

2011-09-02T07:37:00.000-07:00

They say it takes more muscles to frown then it does to smile. I never believed it. I doubt I ever will.

I've worked in Customer Service for the since I was 16 years old. I started off at Express in the mall. It was fun. Back when I actually enjoyed talking to and greeting strangers. Worked there for 4 years. Next I went on to a high end sunglass boutique. Same job, just a bit more challenging. Convincing someone to buy $350 glasses wasn't always easy. Then I crossed over to a more serious job. Working at a cell phone company. A real full time job. With benefits and vacation time. My job was to smile at strangers, and help them, no matter how nasty and rude they are. No matter if they broke their own cell phone and pitched it at my face. No matter if they didn't pay their own bill but couldn't understand why they weren't getting service. I had to smile and be polite. Just like my adult life. I've learned a lot in working in customer service. A lot about people. A lot about myself. A lot about being an adult. But what I've mastered, is the fake customer service smile.

I said my New Years resolution would be to stop worrying about why people choose to do the things they do. I've always had a thing for understanding people's actions towards other people. I've always been like that. I sit back, and I observe. The problem was, that when I would watch people do things to only heighten the problem, not resolve it, I would get frustrated. So it was only healthy for my sanity that I stopped. It was a challenge. But I've been doing it. And my life has been a lot less stressful. I'm less disappointed in people. Yet, it hasn't made me a nicer person. That was the ultimate goal here. If i stopped trying to understand why people do the things they do, I would stop being disappointed in them. Therefor it would kind of restore my faith in people. So many people have disappointed me in my life, I had run out of smiles. This was an attempt to start smiling again.

Well I had started smiling again. After a period in my life I like to refer to as my quarter life crisis (you can read about it HERE) I tried to approach life differently. I set my New Years Resolution and said i would stick with it. I wanted to live a healthier, happier life. That meant surrounding myself with people who didn't make me want to slit my wrists, or people who had poor intentions for me. I started working out more, because to be mentally healthy and happy, you needed to be physically healthy and happy with your body. And... I had just gotten to fat in my depression. For the most part. It worked. I never set expectations for people anymore. I forced a smile on my face no matter how bad the day was. I smiled.

This year, my life has kind of been "Ok" so far. But I've found that not worrying about why people do the things that they do, doesn't excuse the fact that I still see that most people are sel-fish. Now the only difference is, I choose not to care. It kind of spares my feelings in a sense, but seeing how i don't live in this world alone, it still effects my friends and family. I wish we could all not care. But that would just be to easy.

I've watched my best friend in the whole world go through 2 tumultuous relationships. Relationships that i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Back to back. When we met 4 years ago, she was probably one of the nicest people I've ever met. She's changed so much. She told me the other day that she's not making any new friends. Granted, I had decided that for myself a long time ago, she was different. She kind of had a light that made people gravitate towards her. She always smiled at people. She always spoke to people. But for some reason every person she placed in her life that she allowed herself to love tried to break her spirit. Tried to dim her light. Even her friendships. I watched her loose a friend behind such trivial things. Things that we're happening to me also, but because I had decided I didn't care anymore, I didn't complain. But she was hurt. She cried alot. I always listened. And my response was always the same

"People will be people. And most people, are shit."

I always gave people the benefit of the doubt. She never does anymore. She's sees everything in black and white now. No grey areas. While I'm telling myself I'm trying to see the good in people, she's only sees the bad now. Sometimes I feel guilty because I think I'm taking her light. I can tell, she's tired of smiling to.

Someone else close to me lost a friend that they've had for a while. Behind hear say. Hear say! Like we're in fucking high school. I try my best to talk them through it. Because I care for them it's hard not to feel their pain. I've watched them give their all to people, to receive nothing in return. They're hurting to. While counseling them through it they made me realize something. They told me:

"Your not nicer now because you see the light in people, your nicer because you've given up on people. You smile at people not because you want to, but because you think your expected to."

It made perfect sense. All this time I've been telling myself I'm trying to see the good in people by over looking the fucked up things they do, when actually, I've completely given up on people all together. My smiles are as fake in my adult life, as they are at work.

Yesterday I helped an old couple buy new cell phones. They hadn't gotten new phones in 5 years. I did everything they asked me to do. Gave them new sim cards, which deactivated their old sim cards, making them completely useless. Got all their contacts from their old phones to their new ones, gave them a whole 1 hour tutorial on how to use their phones. Out of the kindness of my fake heart I put my work cell phone number their phone and assured them to call me if they had any problems. I was proud of myself for being so patient with them. My nerves usually get bad after being with a customer for 15 minutes, but I smiled at them the whole hour and 30 minutes i was with them. Later that day, they called my cell phone 4 times. Left 4 messages. All because they wanted their 2 deactivated sim cards. After I explained to them the deactivated sim cards were completely useless they said understood. They called me again at 6am the next morning. For the same thing. I let them come back and get their sim cards that day. I didn't smile not one time.

I've run out of fake smiles. I'm tired. My jaws hurt. I'm exhausted. I don't have the energy. I've run out of it in my social life, as well as at work. I tell myself I'm being nice. I tell myself to smile. But my customer feed back scores at work have consistently sat at 60 out of 100 for the last 2 months. I'm the lowest in the store. My fake smiles aren't working anymore. I don't even have the energy to care.

With the semi-drama surrounding my friend's social life, I don't have the energy to fake smile anymore either. I try to stay neutral, but your always guilty by association. So I would give my best fake smile, to show "Hey I'm neutral." only to have a half ass smile returned. I'm all out of them. Now all they'll get is a frown and a wave. And that's on a good day.

They say it takes more muscles to frown then it does to smile. But I think it takes more energy to smile when you don't have a reason to.

I'm Gonna Be An Uncle!

2011-08-30T11:04:00.000-07:00

Ya know, I didn't always like Beyonce.

Back when Destiny's Child 1st came out I was actually a fan of the little short one with the red hair. I can't remember her name. I'm sure you can't either. I liked the group. I thought they were all cool in they're own way. I've always had a thing for girl groups. TLC's Fan Mail was the 1st album I've ever purchased with my own money. From 3LW, Total, 702, and even the Spice Girls. I liked them all. Except Cherish. Gross.

Anyway, when the 2 girls got booted out of the group i immediately blamed Beyonce. Her father was the manager. She was clearly the "leader" of the group. And in interviews, she was very um...not friendly. She interrupted the other girls when they spoke, rolled her eyes way to often, and was always smacking on some gum like it was her last meal. We know you was eating girl. Look at that Bootylicious video. You was WELL FED.

Then the Crazy In Love video came out. I was like..."Hmm...i can dig this." I started to feel her. I loved her and Jay-Z's version of Bonnie and Clyde. She looked amazing in the video. Then that Pepsi commercial with her little shorts. Ok Bey...i see you. When "Dangerously In Love" dropped I became a FAN. She had so many songs that spoke to me. I still listen to "Me Myself and I" every other day. I went and saw her, Missy, and Alicia Keys on they're Women's Tour and everything. I liked her.

I hated her 2nd album. I know, I'm probably the only person in the world who didn't like Bday. I didn't care for many of the videos either. It just didn't move me much. The pop Beyonce didn't really do anything for me. I mean NOTHING.

Then one Essence night I happened to go, and Beyonce happened to be there. The Beyonce Experience. That night changed everything.

Now let me say this. I've never been a Stan for anyone. Ever. I've always liked certain artist alot, but I've never felt like "Oh Myy God when i see them I'm going to cry." I was a huge Aaliyah fan, and i still remember the day she died like it was yesterday, but even then i didn't shed tears.

When Beyonce stepped onto that stage glistening, hair bigger then Gabby Sidibe's arms, thighs like a thorough breed Clydesdale, with abs of a track star, belting out Crazy In Love singing and dancing at the same time...such a rush came over my body i thought i was going to literally..faint. I'd never in my life....sigh.... you get my point.

That was the night I went from FAN..to full blown gun slinging, will CUSS you out and fight you like I haven't know you for years STAN.

Needless to say, since I follow Beyonce's every move, I announced last week on Twitter that she was pregnant, and i was just waiting for the announcement to be mad. She on the night of the MTV awards when she threw that mic down, opened up her Dolce and Gabana blazer, and proudly revealed her bun in the oven (and yes I cried a little) , everyone wanted to know HOW I knew. Well here is how...

1. On July 17th, Beyonce got sick and couldn't finish her ITV show. She got sick. Everybody knows Beyonce is barely human, and never gets sick.

2. She's been clearly been distracted this go around. Ever since "4" dropped Beyonce has been kind of "distracted". I'm sure part is due to her the Manager issues, but I knew it was deeper.

3. The few times she has sang live she's been looking a tad bit exhausted. When she was on the Jimmy Fallon show a few weeks ago, exhausting (Beyonce doesn't get tired) and..a slight buldge in her tight white dress.

4. The rush of the tapping of 4 videos. While everyone thought she was doing this for a video Anthology, I didn't think so. You can't dance to many of the songs on this album so why do a video Anthology? She was doing it because she's going to be out of commision for a while and needs to still some kind of way, promote her album and singles that she will drop over the next 9 months.

5. At the Intimate 4 Intimate Nights at Roseland, she barely danced. She only danced to Single Ladies (which at this point she could do in her sleep), End of Time & Run The World. The fact that no new choreography was done for Countdown was clearly a red flag. And...she was guarding her belly the entire time.

6. The thing that confirmed ANY suspicion I had was when she announced that she was indeed participating in the Tribute to Michael Jackson which will happen shortly. Except she would be there via satellite. Say what? Because you will be where Ms Girl? Last time I checked your calendar (which is daily) you didn't have anything lined up to prevent you from physically being there. Oh yea, except for a baby that you haven't announced yet. I see right through you Honey Bee. Big weave n all.

So...I'm gonna be an Uncle! Congrats Beyonce!

The Holy Spear-IT

2011-07-21T19:39:00.000-07:00

I consider me and my friends very open minded when it comes to music. We like all different genres of music and artist. With the exception of country. So any concert that will roll through New Orleans, even if we're not particularly a fan, we'll go. Just to get the whole "experience". I feel like a REALLY good performer can make just about anyone a fan. So we'll give just about anyone a try.

When word that Britney Spear's tour, The Femme Fatale, was coming to town, i wasn't even the least bit excited. I'm a fan of Britney Spears. But what I'm not a fan of is the new Granny Spears. After seeing her lack luster "Hold it against me" video, the lifeless interviews, and her being out danced by such a skilled dancer as Rihanna at the Billboard Awards, i was through. I had lost all hope in her. She was gone, and never coming back. I had made the mistake of going to see someone live who i KNEW wasn't a good performer, but hoped she'd be better in person. She had black hair then, now she has red. We won't say any names.

Then i was informed that Nicki Minaj would be there. That's all i had to hear. You know i loves me some Onika.

So after cheating and watching some you tube clips of the tour i did begin to grow some excite. Was Britney actually moving? It seemed like it. But i still wasn't COMPLETELY sold. I just knew that i was going to be put to sleep by the new Britney Zolciak. It would be to good to be true.

Well the night of the concert rolled around. We stopped for drinks first. My roommate who thinks he knows EVERYTHING about EVERYTHING insisted that since the concert started at 7pm and had 2 opening acts, Nicki wouldn't hit the stage till 9pm, and Granny wouldn't limp on stage till 1o pm. But since he DOESN'T know ANYTHING about ANYTHING, we we're still sitting at the bar when i received the dreaded text message: NICKI MINAJ IS ON STAGE

Needless to say we missed most of Nicki's performance. I will livid. I mean EVIL. I wanted to have a full on temper tantrum. I had missed the ONLY person i had came to see. What the shit was i still here for? So i sat there pissed. Fumming.

Finally, the moment everyone else had been waiting for. Lights. Camera. Lots of set props. ACTION. Britney Spears.

5 minutes in, i already knew....there was only 1 way to describe this concert....

ABSOLUTELY POSITIVELY MIND FUCKING AMAZING!!!

I was astounded. For 1, Britney looked great. Her body was on point. Her weave was actually sewn in right. She looked awake AND ALERT! Secondly, she was dancing for her dear life. I mean DANCING. I was in SHOCK and disbelief! She worked the crowd. She worked the stage. she climbed up poles. On her performance of UpNDown she danced in a cage like a stripper. I loved every second of it. She did some of her greatest pop songs, and some of her new ones. Did i mention that her weave actually looked decent? She completed slaughtered the S&M remix. I don't know why she didn't do that at the Billboard Awards.

Now i will admit, she isn't the dancer she once was. When she did do the full out 8 count to Slave For you, I could see the difference. But with the stage props, the EXCELLENT back up dancers, and everything around her working in her favor, it would be very hard to notice any flaw in the concert. She had so many outfit changes I lost count. Which was awesome. She even pulled a guy on stage, hand cuffed him to a chair, and sat on his head. It was great. I had the time of my life.

All and all, I stand completely corrected. I don't like to admit when I'm wrong, and normally, i never am. This time, i was completely wrong. Britney Spears was nothing short of epic. I'm still thinking about it a whole week later, and randomly downloading old music from her. If The Femme Fatale is coming to your state, take the word of a very cynical critic, it's well worth it.

Thoughts of a hopeless Romantic..

2011-07-06T19:23:00.000-07:00

"Love is everything it’s cracked up to be … It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for."

-Erica Long

“No matter how many times my heart has been broken, my feelings crushed, or the tears I’ve shed, I’ll never regret falling in love. I feel so blessed to have experienced something so beautiful in such a monumental way. It’s changed my life. It molded me. It grew me up. It shaped me into the person I’m supposed to be. I’ll never give up on it. I’ll always believe in the power of love.”

You Can't Sit With Us.

2011-06-20T16:10:00.000-07:00

Ya know, they say you never really leave high school. It's true.

As functioning adults i think it is pretty much a daily part of life to deal with people who you really don't "see it for". You don't like them. Or like a friend of mine sometimes says "I don't USE her." Not everyone is meant to be friends. People have different personalities, different upbringings, and some people are just plain crazy. But because we must act as adults, who are NOT in high school anymore, we have to work/ socialize with people who we simply don't like. I don't see it for MANY people who I'm forced to socialize with on the weekends. Just like I'm sure some of them may not see it for me. Which is completely fine. I'm not here for your approval. Just like your not here for mine. That doesn't mean we can't sit down at the same table and be civil. We don't need each others numbers. We don't have to hang out alone. We may not even hang out again! But we can be cordial. We are human beings.

It seems that the difficulties arise when its the friends who have stopped being friends. Now, in high school, we all know how this would have went. The most powerful (and good looking) person of the clique was who owned your loyalty. If the Regina didn't see it for you, well then the rest of us don't either. Period. You can't sit with us. Have a great day. And if your lucky, we WON'T make your life a living hell. Go find some new (lame and ugly) friends. Problem solved.

In the adult world it doesn't really go like that. I personally, use the Art of Effective Shade Throwing. A few weeks ago, I was forced to sit at a bar for 3 hours with 1 of the only 3 people in the whole world, who I HATE with a burning fiery passion. The entire time i wanted to jump across the table and slap all the saliva out of his mouth. But i didn't. Because I'm an adult, and "You can't just be fighting in the streets like a wild animal!" like my mother told me after a brawl I had 2 years ago at a Super Bowl party. Besides, who really wants to be the asshole who has a problem with EVERYONE. No one wants to be around that kind of person. Anyhow, It was 4 of us, including him at the bar. We talked around each other the entire night. We all engaged in conversation. I didn't roll my eyes or make any sly remarks. I never looked him directly in his face. I never spoke directly to him, nor did he ~~dare~~ speak directly to me. It went fine. Of course anytime he did in fact try to ask me a question directly i answered it, but only in a manner in which it was directed towards the whole group. And I still did NOT make eye contact with him.

When we left my friend said "I thought you and _____ didn't like each other?" and i said "Its whatever, we just don't speak." That's commonly the best response to give when regarding to an ex-friend. Anything more then that will make you look bitter, and probably start some kind of mess. People don't need details. Its none of your business. Save the gossip and innuendo for your real friends.

The next day, the 1 guy of the 3 people in the WHOLE world who i HATE with a fiery passion, who i had sat at the bar with.... sent me a Facebook friend request. I declined. You still can't sit with us.

Moral of the story is, we aren't here to "beef" with people. That's to time consuming, and its rather juvenile. The only person who your loyalty should be to is your REAL friends. (If you don't have one of those at this age then your probably crazy. get help.) We're grown. Contrary to popular belief, we can all get along. Not everyone has to be friends, or even associates, but there is no reason why 2 adults should dislike each other so much that they can't be around each other in a social setting. That's just part of the life of a grown up. Your going to have bosses you don't like, co-workers you can't stand, and friends who have friends who are just complete train wrecks. Your going to have to deal with that. There's no need to be rude. There's no need to be ugly. We can co-exist, and still hate each other. Besides, when it really gets rough, just take to twitter, subtweet your ass off, wait for the hit dog to holler, and once they do (and trust me they will) then...don't respond. Your point has been made, and received. Works like a charm. And a sure way to put a smile on your face.

Again, The Art of Effective Shade Throwing.

"Inspired" VS "COPIED"

2011-05-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

Sunday on the Billboard Music Awards, sometime after ~~a sleeping~~ Britney Spears and ~~a stiff~~ Rihanna took the stage, Beyonce delivered one of the best performances of her career. I won't go into detail. You can view the amazing-ness above. Well not even 24 hours later this video hit the net.

Of course the Beyonce Stans launched a full attack on any blogger who dared post the video. At first i joined suite, but then i after reading an article posted on yahoo (HERE) about the amazing performance i kind of changed my mind. In the article Beyonce's team openly admits that they did in fact draw "inspiration" from the Italian singer, Lorella Cucarrini's performance, and sought out the same graphic designer who did it. Just like she drew "inspiration" from Chicago and added The Cell Block Tango to one of her tours. Just like she drew "inspiration" from a you tube video for her Single Ladies video. Beyonce is so heavily inspired that it makes me actually sit down and question The Queen. What is the difference between "inspiration" and just a down right dirty ol copy cat.

I know all artist draw inspiration from each other. Its no mystery that Lady Gaga is heavily inspired by Madonna. Beyonce's performance style is heavily inspired by Tina Turner. Ciara has mentioned time and time again shes inspired by Janet Jackson. Nicki Minaj....we won't even go there. So whats the difference between being inspired by someone, and trying to BE someone. I remember when Rihanna dyed her hair black and cut it all off, Kelis fans (whoever they may be) had an absolutely conniption fit, like Kelis is the only person allowed to cut her hair. When Rihanna found a new and improved stylist, Kelis claimed to have done that 1st to. The 1st to find a new stylist? I guess girl.

In my opinion, everyone is inspired by something. But you must put your own twist to it, to make it a little bit more original. Beyonce made the Single Ladies video her own. Yes she did see three old white women doing a full out dance routine filmed in 1800 BC. But she added many of her own elements to the video that kind of made it HERS. The intricate choreography. The black and white aspect. The hair style. The matching leotards. I know it doesn't seem like much, but think back to Halloween 2009 when you saw all the fat girls in the leotards...who were they trying to be? You get my point? She made it her own. I can respect that.

We all know anything you can do, Beyonce can do better. That's a given. But i felt like the video above did make me stop and think. Sometimes, i go back and forth. Was it "inspiration" or was it "copying". The graphics used we not left up to her, the designer decided on those. So the similarities as far as that goes, the designer takes full responsibility for. But i honestly feel because Beyonce is placed on a pedestal in the industry, and because seriously ANYTHING YOU CAN DO, SHE CAN DO BETTER, we give her a pass sometimes. And i believe we do that because we believe it will t take away from her greatness as an artist. She's still the greatest performer alive, and definitely one of the most talented women in the industry. But there is a very thin line between inspiration and copying, and Beyonce is dancing on it a little to often (in 6 inch heels and singing at the same time). At the end of the day it just gives the haters a reason to question her greatness.

I firmly believe there is nothing new under the sun. Everything has been done before. So the difference between reinventing something and making it your own vs copying, i guess it's up to the viewer. Many people will argue me down about the Single Ladies video that it was in fact a carbon copy. I don't think so, but you may. So i guess it's left up to the viewer. Its all opinion. Beyonce never seems phased. Neither does Rihanna. Neither does Lady Gaga. Even the great Michael Jackson has been accused of being "overly inspired" by someone. Hell, who knew he didn't invent the moon walk?

Why Stopped Going To Church.

2011-05-19T13:43:00.000-07:00

Its only natural that as you get older you begin to question some things that you were taught growing up. One of the best things about adult hood is that you get to make your own decisions, and choose what and what not you want to believe in. And you don't have to answer to anybody.

I was raised in a very religious home. I went to a baptist church uptown EVERY Sunday, rain or shine, sick or well. My mother was (and still is) the Minister of Music. Up at 8 am for Sunday School, till the service started at 11:30. It ended somewhere between 1 and 2:30 pm. Then I would have to go around and kiss all my "Aunts" like i didn't see them last Sunday, socialize, and smile. You know how it goes, it's an all day event.

I always questioned the little things, that to me, never made any sense or could be applied to things of this time period. Like sex before marriage :What if you never get married? Are you not to have sex? Divorce: I mean seriously, shit happens. What if you marry Ike Turner? But the straw that broke the camels back had to be the views on homosexuality.

I know the Bible is here to show us how to live a good and straight forward life in the eyes of God. Now i consider myself a rather logical person. I'm always down to hear the other person's point of views. I like things that make me question my own thoughts and beliefs. So i went to my Pastor about this issue about 5 or 6 years ago.

"Why are homosexuals going to hell?"

"It's not of God." My pastor responded. "God mad man to lie with a woman. Its a sin"

"So how do they get to heaven?"

"They must repent son. They must leave that blasphemous lifestyle alone and find Jesus. Repent and be baptized."

"But...if they didn't CHOOSE this lifestyle, how are they to leave it alone?"

"God doesn't make mistakes. Prayer and guidance can deliver anyone from a homosexual demon."

"But why is it a sin? Its not hurting anyone?"

"Its not of God. Its not how God intended man to live."

The conversation didn't really phase me. Every answer was pretty much what i figured it would be. Prayer. God. The usual. The bible speaks against Lying. Cheating. Killing. Stealing. And homosexuality. I can understand why lying, cheating, killing, and stealing are considered a SIN. To do any of them, would involve hurting someone else. They all require malicious and devious acts. Being gay doesn't require any. So why being gay a sin? Because the bible says so. And on top it being a SIN, it's not a choice. You choose to lie. You choose to cheat. You choose to kill. You choose to steal. You don't choose what your attracted to. You don't choose who you love. I'm sure if it was a choice, MANY would take the easier route, and choose to be straight. Life is hard enough. I don't know anybody who would choose to be gay. Who would choose to be judged and ridiculed, looked at funny, and constantly reminded that they are going to hell.

So after a few debates with my pastor, WE came to the conclusion that the only way a gay person is making it to God's Big House in the Sky is by simply "choosing" not to live the "gay" lifestyle. To live your life, alone, unhappy, and praying that one day, you will miraculously find the opposite sex attractive. There is NO other way. God does NOT allow gay people in heaven. PERIOD. While the girl who had her baby out of wed lock, says sorry Jesus, gets some holy water sprinkled on her head, and she's all in. Makes perfect sense.

I'm 26 years old. I know i have a lot more living to do. But i know this for sure: Your given one life. Just one. And you have to live it the best way you know how. Life is to short to being trying to fix something that was never broken. And I'm done trying to make sense of things that never made sense in the beginning. The Bible is a book of morals, but at the end of the day, morals are the same as opinions. You can't make me agree with your morals, just like i can't make you agree with mine. As long as your not harming anyone, your fine by me. Unfortunately, the Bible doesn't agree. And that's perfectly fine.

I had a friend who was atheist. He'll argue you down with scientific facts that God isn't real. I'm not here to try to convince you he's right. Nor do i agree with him. I believe in God. And i have my own personal relationship with him. But i also believe that the concept of "religion" is man made, and was made in order to instill morals in us human beings. I can't say where the world would be if the Bible never existed, but i can guess it would be a pretty hectic place. Just like it is now. Humans are not animals. We don't kill to survive or eat. So i can't imagine how much different it would be.

I have a gay friend who goes to church faithfully. Every Sunday (and Wednesday for Bible Study). He's even attempted to "be straight" in order to please Jesus. Granted, i don't judge people for their personal decisions, i can't help but to feel sorry for them. Children are killing themselves because the Bible says they are going to hell for something they have no control over. Because the world won't accept them for reasons that can't be explained aside from "Because its not of God." These people, with the same kind of human blood coursing through there veins, aren't allowed to marry who they love, like some kind of mutant, ALL because America believes in this book of morals that speaks against their life style. With no reason to support it. Meanwhile we have reality shows where people get married just to be on television and a check. Drunk people are getting married for fun in Vegas at the little chapel down the street.

Like I said before, I consider myself a very logical person. I do try my very hardest to see the other side of every argument. But you Christians really have me stumped on this. Especially with the ones with the broken hymen or 2 year old child...but no wedding ring. So you can keep your Bible. And your morals. And your Preacher in his big body Benz, telling people how to live their life. Until the Bible receives an update, you can have your religion to. I'll fend for myself. That's why i stopped going to church.

Poor Pussy Management.

2011-05-13T15:19:00.000-07:00

So here we have a uniquely beautiful girl named Amber Rose. She was the girlfriend of foul mouth super star asshole, Kanye West. We thought this girl was going to be the next Kim Kardashian. I mean she was all over the blogs, making all kinds of appearances, taking Fashion Week by storm, all because she was Kanye's beautiful bald headed barbie doll. She definitely could have capitalized off of her new found fame. Just like Kim K did with her sex tape. But instead what did Ms. Rose decide to do? Well 1st, Kanye dumped her. But she's famous enough now to do something with her name. But does she? Of course not. She runs around for about 6 months with a bunch of different male celebrities, makes out with some video girl, gains 20 pounds, and finally decides to settle down with some boy with a blond striek of hair in his head. Now she randomly gives these "I don't know why people think I'm a hoe." speeches whenever some random radio host decides to lend a helping hand and act like she's still relevant. She hasn't a clue why people would assume shes a hoe, when she's photographed with a different man every other week. Making out with video girls in front of the paparazzi, and walking around Miami top less. No clue at all. This, is a prime example of poor pussy management.

For some reason or the other beautiful girls don't understand how "blessed" they are to be beautiful. I say "blessed" because being beautiful is a gift from God. Everyone is not beautiful. You can listen to that "beauty is in the eyes of the beholder" bull, but the fact of the matter is there is a general perception of what "beautiful" is today. And not everyone meets it. It sucks, and i'm sorry that i have to be the bearer of bad news, but it's very true. You won't find a man on this earth who doesn't find Halle Berry attractive. And if you do, that same man will either find Fantasia Barrino attractive, or.... Will Smith. it just is, what it is. Beauty is a blessing. Capitalize off of your gift.

Beautiful girls have the advantage that other girls don't. Men will put up with a little more bull shit from the beautiful girl. Men treat the beautiful girl better. Men are LESS likely to leave the beautiful girl (not cheat, but actually LEAVE). Now this only applies if you MANAGE YOUR PUSSY PROPERLY.

Here's how NOT to manage your pussy:

1. Don't fuck every boy you meet. We're all adults. We have sex. I understand that, as most men will. But when way to many guys can say they've "hit that".....you loose value. QUICKLY. No man wants a girl who his friend, friend's cousin, friend's cousin's bestfriend, and step daddy, done "hit". It is a double standard, but again, this comes with being a woman. Not everyone deserves to get your "goodies". Have some respect girl. I know temptation can be rough, but think about the lasting effects. You look good! Know your worth!

2. Sleeping with lames only lowers your stock. By lames i mean men who aren't worth shit. No car. No Job. Lives with his momma. But at every party every weekend. How hard do you think Kanye West is laughing at Amber Rose when he sees pictures of her all out of shape in some sketchers walking around with that skinny boy with the blond thing in his head? She looks like she has a buffet in her back yard. And he looks like he's never been to one. If you with a man who isn't worth shit, that speaks volumes about your self-esteem.

3. Stop telling people your business. Your business, is YOUR BUSINESS. What you do, only you need to know. Keep your shit tight. if you don't know where i'm going with this, you've probably already talked to much have been managing your pussy poorly.

Here's How to Manage your Pussy Properly:

1. Don't EVER, get caught slipping. You have a reputation to uphold. On those days that you just don't feel like making your self look decent, don't feel like combing your hair, or getting dressed....stay home. The moment someone sees you looking a MESS, the word will spread. Your stocks will plummet.

2. Be independent. Ladies have no idea how attractive that is. The only men who don't think it's attractive are the ones who are self conscious and want you to depend on him to make him feel like a man. Besides, when your independent, it will make the man act like less of an ass. See, when you "need" him, he can do whatever he wants. But if he knows you can drop him like a bad habit and keep it moving on to the next, he has to stay on his shit. It almost is like a motivational thing. If your on your shit, only a man who's on his shit will be able to keep up.

3. Be mysterious. Men are curious by nature. That's half of the reason why we cheat so much. It rouses interest when we see someone we've never seen before. And when we ask "What's her background" and the usual response is "I don't know." well that just makes us even hungrier. You know men are thirsty. Like dogs.

The fact of the matter is most women don't know how much power they could have if they just managed their pussy properly. Amber Rose at the height of her fame, easily could have gotten a reality show. Wrote a book about her troubled life like Toya Carter did. Gotten some endorsements. SOMETHING! She was already a plus size model! But she didn't. She fell off. Gained weight, now she's sleeping with that boy WITH THAT BLOND STRIEKE...smh. Poor. Pussy. Management.

Some examples of Proper Pussy Management:

Kobe Bryant's Wife Vanessa Bryant. A prime example of where being beautiful can get you.

Kim Kardashian. Beautiful girl, who's claim to fame was a sex tape. Now she makes 10 mill a year and took her whole family with her to the top. That's some proper pussy management!

Beyonce Knowles. Obvious reasons, she locked down one of greatest rapper alive. Can you imagine how many hoes Jay-Z's ugly ass had? But he decided to marry her. He's Jay-Z.

Lala Vasquez. Everyone gave her shit for being engaged for 6 years and nobody thought she would be married. Now look at her. Career at an all time high and married to a man who just signed a 60 million dollar contract.

Some Examples of Poor Pussy Management:

Amber Rose. (see above) She'll be back stripping by next year.

Christina Milian. She married The Dream, who clearly doesn't like women, and signed a prenuptial agreement. Girl, nap time.

Cassie. Everyone knows shes sleeping with Diddy. Yet, he still won't give her a 2nd album. Her relevancy is next to none (unless you blog).

Now i'm not saying be a gold digger (even though that is always the best choice: read all women should be gold diggers), I'm simply saying know your worth. If you have a good job, a car, and your own home, nothing is wrong with expecting the same out of a potential mate. Why would you WANT to date someone who has less? You moving backwards in life. Poor Pussy Management.

Listen up Angry Black Man....

2011-04-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

In 2005 Hurricane Katrina caught everyone in the city of New Orleans off guard and ram shacked our city with way to much wind, and a lot more water. My home, all my clothes, and my beautiful 1997 Gold Expedition all drowned as a result. Fast forward a few months later, my parents up and decided to buy me a new car. So we went to the Toyota Dealership. After much yelling screaming and eventually..crying, they bought me a brand new 2005 Scion. Not the nice 2 door one. No, that would have been to nice of them. The XA. The ugly 4 door hatchback. So ugly I named it Celie. One of the most depressing days of my life.

I drove Ms Celie for 5 years. 5 long years. Until February of 2011 when I decided i wanted something new. I work hard, why not? I bought myself a brand new silver 2011 Camaro. I named her Buffy, Buffy The Body. And i love her.

I've had Buffy for almost 2 full months now. I've been pulled over by the cops at least 5 times in those 2 months. Running red lights? Nope. Speeding? Nope (i'm actually still trying to adjust to how fast it is, so i RARELY go above 50). I have all the appropriate tags and everything else a car should have to AVOID getting pulled over. But for some reason the police STILL find the need to pull me over. And every time, the cop just so happens to be white. They search my car. Frisk me. Run my license. Check my insurance. The whole nine yards. Once they see i don't have the same kind of guns like T.I. and figure out i am somewhat educated because i talk properly, they let me go. Same routine every time.

Now i could have a conniption fit every time a cop pulls me over for no reason. I could be the Angry Black Man. But we know the only place that would end me up is in jail. In those hideous jump suits. Everybody knows I'm not jail material. Those black and white stripes aren't my color. And, they are a tad bit late if you ask me. We won't even begin to talk about the foot wear.

As a black man, i know that white America is always looking for me to mess up. I know they are waiting for me to do something small and feeble that they can blow out of proportion, just to lock my black ass up. They are just WAITING for me to be a "statistic". And I'm not even FAMOUS. I'm just your average everyday 25 year old black man trying to get to and from work in my new car that i bought because i saw on Transformers. Nothing more, nothing less.

This is why Chris Brown pisses me off. Here we have one of the most talented kids of our generation, having temper tantrums and breaking windows like the ANGRY BLACK MAN (on Good Morning America i might add) America ALREADY thinks he is. All because he was caught off guard about questions regaurding The Rihanna Incident, which is something he will probably be asked about for as they both shall live. There are so many things we could ask Chris, but they want to talk about that. It did happen 2 years ago. And we are over it (if your not slap yourself, and get over it). But it did happen, and people WILL keep talking about it. Rihanna still gets asked questions about it (when they really should be asking her who her vocal coach is) and she answers them with poise. Chris needs to do the same. The media is GOING to exploit you when your famous. That's their job. Either use it to your advantage, or to your disadvantage. All the media does is REPORT it. So you have a tantrum, it will be reported, if you don't, guess what...there's nothing to report. Beyonce doesn't like questions about Jay Z. But when she gets them she does the best she can to work her way around them, and if she can't she ques her guard dog, Tina Knowles, who simply flashes the interviewer her gold House of Derion pistol that sits on her waist as a signal to shut the fuck up. Chris has resources to all the media training in the world. I'm sure that its hard when it feels like the world is against you, but guess what, they pretty much are.

I won't lie, it does suck that Charlie Sheen can brag about being on drugs and sleeping with porn stars and America applauds it. They think its hilarious. But when Lil Wayne does the same thing he's called a thug, and is ridiculed for it. If Charlie Sheen were a black man, the media would ROAST him. Unfortunately, its just the cards we are dealt. That's the life of a black man vs a white man. So we as the black man, have to do better then them. If i can't drive around my new car and not get pulled over every 3 days by some racist cop, then no Chris, you can't promote yourself and your (really good) album without some uncomfortable questions about your past. The only difference between us is that your getting millions of dollars to do it.

How black is black enough?

2011-02-20T07:53:00.001-08:00

I'm from New Orleans, Louisiana. Born and raised. Home, where the creole's originated. The black people down here are literally all different shades. To be completely honest, it's to the point where its hard for us to distinguish pretty much any other race from black. I remember having a debate with one of my friends years ago about whether Eva Longoria was black or not when Desperate Housewives first came on air. She looked just like SO many of our friends. I knew she wasn't black, her last name was a dead give away for me, but Lacy swore she was black. After some research of course we discovered she isn't black. Same with Christina Milian, especially when that movie with the boy who's married to Mariah Carey came out. I even remember how devastated i was when i found out that Carmen Electra and Fergie WEREN'T at least half black! Seriously, it may sound crazy, but that's just how light skinned our blacks get down here in Louisiana. I always joke that i could never go anywhere else and have a race discussion because being from here has seriously altered my idea of what light skinned and dark skinned is.

For some reason or the other Beyonce and her skin color has been a hot topic this week. At one point people were actually saying she "bleached" her skin. I swore i wouldn't read comments under Necole Bitchie and The Young, Black, and Fabulous anymore, and i definitely should have gone wit my better judgment. Look, we have this issue every year with her. Beyonce lives in New York City. And in case you didn't know, when its cold outside, and the sun isn't out as much, people of color miraculously get lighter. Its not a very hard equation. Does Beyonce tan? OF COURSE. So does every person of color when they want to be a bit darker. Whats the big deal? Of course her new blond hair didn't help any. So because she's so light, she's of course...Michael Jackson.

"She wants to be Gwenth Paltrow's sister."

"She wants to be white."

"She just set black people back 100 years"

Now Beyonce is catching slack for having a black face in her most recent photo shoot with a french magazine L' Official. In the shoot she was dressed in African themed clothing, and wore a black face in tribute to a famous African Activist Fela Kuti. Well apparently Beyonce wasn't black enough to do this. The comments sections ERUPTED. And i again, went against my better judgment and read the ignorance. It's really to the point where you just have to laugh to keep from crying for our people. Beyonce is BLACK. She has never claimed to be anything else. Her grandmother, who's from New Orleans, was creole. Need a history lesson?

Creoles are the descendants of the french and Spanish colonial settlers before the Civil War. Of course, they mixed and mingled with the blacks, and the term Creoles of Color came about around the 19th century. So it comes down to a mix of french, spanish, black and some native American. Now a days the word is thrown around so loosely its appalling. Is creole black? YES. Its a sub-culture. Of course the one drop rule is very real in Louisiana, so if you look ANYTHING but white, white people consider you black. They get it. Why don't we? Halle Berry said it best. She defines her race by how America is going to view her. Yes she's half white, but we all know she can be called a "nigger" just like the rest of us. She isn't denying her other half, its just about being realistic. Now of course I'm sure in a conversation she would go into detail, but to the world, shes black, so she says shes black. Its not like Lala Vesquez who actually ISN'T black at all,but can play a black role in a film because she looks black. Halle looks black because she's half black.

I don't understand why WE can't seem to move past this color barrier. Every time a black person belittles another about their skin color we take another step backwards. Its like a domino effect. And i can't for the life of me understand why we can't move past this. We come in all shades and colors. No color makes you more beautiful or attractive then the next. Like i said, being from New Orleans can really alter how you view color and race. I won't lie and say that I've never been told "I usually don't date people as dark as you." But i feel like, hey, that's your loss. Lil Wayne who's from New Orleans, thinks "I betcha she looks better red". I'd be surprised with all the drugs in his system that he can even still distinguish the color of grass, let alone the skin color of the multiple random women he meets in the club at night and ends up sleeping with. But that's his preference, and his loss. I've meet people in this city with serious color complex issues, and i have to be so thankful that my mother raised my sister and I to believe we are beautiful no matter how dark we may get over the summer. I've meet people who only date light skin people, I've meet people who only date dark skin people. There are people who think if you have light skin and a different grain of hair your more BEAUTIFUL then others, even if you look like a pit bull. And then I've meet people who HATE every light skin person with a different grain of hair for the simple fact they themselves are not light skinned with some "good hair", because that's what they believe is beautiful, and they aren't satisfied in their own skin. Its crazy how we give something as SKIN COLOR and HAIR so much POWER! Especially when we have so many other issues we can be dealing with in our community. Why don't we put that same energy into trying to educate our black people. The number of black men in jail is rising more and more every year. Lets talk about that. But no, that's not what we want to talk about. We want to talk about how Beyonce is to light so she must want to be white.

I've said this before and I'll say it again. Sometimes i think being black is just one big social experiment. Made for the white people to sit back and laugh at us. Laugh as we tear each other down about who's hair is better or who's skin is lighter. They laugh at how when our people make money we spend it on cars and clothes and $50,000 chains instead of investing. We're never satisfied with what is done for us, we always want more. We are crabs in a bucket. And its disgusting. I would love to say "I can't wait to see the day when we as a race will do better", but being as real as Beyonce's pale skin, i know we won't. This is it for us. I don't think I've ever realized how TRULY bliss ignorance is, until now. I know we will never move past these issues. We will always see the short comings of the Oprah's and the Tyler Perry's of the world. Not the leaps and bounds they've made to be where they are today, or the barriers they have broken FOR us. Lil Wayne won't stop swearing that he bet his bitch looks better red, nor will he stop drinking whatever the fuck that is in his cup. The glass will always be half empty, her hair will always be "good" and her skin will always be to light to be right. And that's just that. Let the coonery continue.

**This is the que for the church choir to start singing**

Is Twitter Real?

2011-02-17T22:31:00.000-08:00

Twitter has to be one of the funniest social networks ever created. At any given moment you can go ahead and say what ever comes to your random mind to basically the world (depending on how many followers you are) with 1 simple tweet. I love twitter. Especially when TV shows are on. Everyone's a comedian. Everyone has an opinion. And its always great to see everyone's opinion. The ones who matter, and then some that don't (if i'm following you, you matter to me, if I'm not, then...you get the point.)

Twitter also gives you the opportunity to bring yourself closer to people who you may have only been acquaintances with. I think it does that because when you choose to follow someone on twitter your basically saying "I'm interested in you." You get to see how this person really is (or how they want you to believe they are) and you have the option to comment on everything they say. Twitter has brought me closer with alot of people that i've known for years but never had much more then a "hi" and "bye" relationship with. At the same time, it's made me hate some people who have known for years, and i don't speak to them anymore. Thats when we utilize the unfollow button. That pretty much says "I'm no longer interested in you. Get out of my life and my time line with your foolishness. Fuck. Your. Thoughts." Right? Well that's what the person being unfollowed is going to believe at. So we'll just keep it at that.

Then we have that wonderful Retweet Button. Now, there are 2 kinds of RTs. There is the kind where you RT and comment, which generally makes sense. You want to comment on something someone says. I understand. Now the other RT allows you to simply force (yes force) this random person into the time lines of everyone who is following you. Which is where problems come in. If i wanted to see what the person you made the wise decision to to RT into my timeline had to say, well then i would simply follow them. Because I have chosen not to follow them, that means that i clearly have no interest in what they have to say. Their opinion, means nothing to me. And there is probably a good reason for that.

Then we have what we are all guilty of. The infamous subtweet. Aren't these your favorite? Subtweeting is when your making a general tweet, but its SURELY directed at one or 2 people you know, who is following you. And you know they'll see it. But won't say anything. Need an example?

Lets say Rihanna decides to follow me. I tweet:

"God, i HATE this girls fire engine red hair. HATE it. She looks ridiculous! And she sounds like a damn Goat! Fire crotch! Tampon Head!"

Rihanna surely wouldn't think i'm talking about her.

Lets try another one.

"i hate fat hoes with draw string pony tails always tryna dance n shit. hoe you fat! #epicfail"

Now, of course when the person being subtweeted recognizes them they will do one of two things. They can ignore it (which is always best). Or they can respond. At that time the follower who sent out the initial subtweet will say the same thing they ALL say when caught subtweeting

"Girl calm down, i wasn't talking about you. Its just twitter."

Sigh. Let me be clear about something. Twitter is very real. What you tweet is directly from YOU. Which means its how YOU feel. And that's completely fine. But you should always surely be ready to back up your tweets as much as you would back up a phone conversation or a text message. One should always keep that in mind. Playing with your friends on twitter is one thing, but we all know how fast things can be misunderstood. On twitter there is no "tone of voice". We simply have "LOL" to distinguish a "im just playing with you" tweet from a "bitch im not playin with you and imma whip that ass when I see you" tweet. So lets be more careful people. I would hate to have to unfollow you.

Why I Write

2011-01-27T20:51:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was my 1st day in English class of this semester. My professor, a quirky little white girl that looks like she came straight of out Urban Outfitters, asked me why do i write. It was actually an essay she had us read. And it made me think. Why do i write? Then i felt compelled to write, why i write.

As far back as i can remember i have always wrote stuff for fun. I used to write these short stories and send them to school with my sister. She would read them to the class and always come back and tell me how much everyone loved them. And then she'd have me write another 1. Id write like 1 a week, and it kinda turned into a ritual. She loved it. It felt appreciated. So i wrote more. For her and her class. I also had a friend who lived out of state, and i would send him this 100 page stories that i would write. Total fiction. That was back in the day when i was obsessed with comic books. But i just had all these crazy stories wrapped up in my head and i can't explain the joy i got from just laying it all down on paper. Back then i was more strict than i am now. I used to hand write everything in some .99 notebooks, and then i would get on my mother's computer and write it again. And then i would print it all out. My mother used to fuss at me because i used to much printing paper.

I think that is why i know i have to be a writer. Its the only thing in this world that i can do that i really LOVE doing. Of course now i want to write about different things. I've always be fascinated with art. So i could write for days about the the art of fashion. The way someone dresses. Their style. Why i like it, or why i hate it. Or how something (or someone) is beautiful to me. Why they are beautiful. What makes them so beautiful and striking. Features in someones face that make them look different. Someones hair. The color. How that color or style compliments their face or their skin tone. I could go on for days.

Then there is the thing called an "opinion". I have an opinion about everything. And i want to be heard. And i want you to agree. Or disagree. But i want you to be invested in what i have to say. I want an explanation. To everything. I feel like that's why I'm alive. To know the answer. Everything has a formula. And i want to know it. I NEED to know it. So i can dissect it. And analyze it to the best of my ability. And then write it out.

At one point in time i thought i wanted to be a journalist. And even though i have a very strong passion for journalism i still think I'm a bit to judgmental. Journalist have to be biased towards a lot of things. And i couldn't do that. So i write. I write it all down, to get it all out, and post it here for you guys to see. To read what i have to say. To see my point of view. And to agree. Or disagree.

Top 5 Best Dress Men in Hollywood

2011-01-18T17:38:00.000-08:00

5. Usher
Usher was the 1st guy who i ever recognized as somewhat of a fashion icon (at like 13). His whole blazer with the baseball hate era set trends. I remember laughing seeing all the guys come into basket ball games with their dad's over sized blazer on trying to imitate Usher's music videos. I think he has a real simply style. But classic. It will never get old.

4. Pharrell Williams
Give me labels. And more labels. And MORE labels. And you have Pharrell. His style is dope. And then he cleans up and switches it up like its nothing. He originated the man bag. And for that he gets all the praise. Even though i would never be bold enough to do it.

3. John Legend
This man is the Classic GQ model. Head to toe. Everywhere he goes. He's probably who i most admire as far as his style because of my personal style. He's always tailored. Always. Everything he puts on looks like it was made just for him.

2. Kanye West
You give a gaudy queen some millions of dollars and this will be the results. The Glamazon know as Kanye West. He will see something in a women's store, and have it made for himself. And i don't know if its because of his name, or because he might Taylor Swift you, but it gets done. Just make his fur coat. And it better be the best coat of all time.

1. Swizz Beats
I don't exactly know when Swizz Beats turned into this person, but he went from 0-10 over night. This man was one of the designers for the men's christian loubiton shoe line. And those shoes are probably the best shoes I've ever seen. In my LIFE. His style is timeless, yet has a hip/hop edge to it.

Top 5 Best Dressed Women of Hollywood

2011-01-18T16:51:00.000-08:00

5. Victoria Beckham.
I can always admire a mother who still gives it her all. Posh Spice never misses a beat. This woman is the epitome of a glamorous Hollywood woman. And she can pull off any look she feels, and do it without flaw. Her style is very classic and she always sticks to what she knows.

4. Keri Washington
Keri is seriously slept on. I've been saying this since I 1st saw her grace the red carpet. This girl can dress. She always keeps it simple, but always makes a statement. And nothing is simple about that.

3. Rihanna
Even though our favorite Bajan Princess's style has been on bed rest, it doesn't mean she can't be recognized. Rihanna may not always deliver a look I necessarily care for, but she is going to deliver A "LOOK". A "LOOK" that will set trends. No matter how ridiculous it may be. And for every time she looks like a mad woman, she will turn around the next day and look completely sickening. She's a true chameleon.

2. Kim Kardashian
Now unlike the other women mentioned above, Kim doesn't have a touring schedule or movie to shoot. Kim's job is to look flawless, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And she pulls it off, and does it effortlessly. And even when Kim is bumming (which i've only seen 1 time) she will throw on a Birkin bag just to let you know "Hey, I'm richer then you."

1. Oprah Winfrey
To execute a look day in and day out ALONE, deserves the number 1 spot. But to do it at any size, now THAT's phenomenal. Oprah pulls it off, every. single.day. From her smallest size, to her largest, Oprah will look AMAZING.I mean seriously, Designers make looks to cater to this woman, just because of her name. I'm bet her bed sheets are custom made. Now that's MONEY. (2.7 billions dollars to be exact.)

New Years Resolution.

2010-12-25T19:38:00.000-08:00

Yesterday as I sat in my cubicle at work on Christmas Eve, I listened (only listen, never speak) to my co-worker's all talk about how Tyler Perry just couldn't be gay because he was a "Man of God". Then they followed that with if he was gay he was surely going to hell. Now mind you these 3 women, all have multiple children, have never been married and are currently living with some man who may or may not be their baby daddy. Before I could begin to rip my ears from my head in disgust, they changed the subject. Thank God. To you know what? How ugly Beyonce is. I clearly, can't win for loosing.

So right before i was about to add them to my "The Crazies" List i realized something. It hit me right there, harder then Ike hit Tina.

"Jonathan, you've taken 2 psychology classes. TWO! Your not a fucking psychologist. Just because you can't wrap your mind around how ridiculous some people's opinions may appear to be, doesn't mean their crazy."

Well ain't that some shit. I've always tried to over analyze everything and everyone. Why people think the way they do. Why people do the things they do. Why people make such careless decisions when the consequences are clear as Ricky Martin's sexual preference. Well, my New Year's Resolution is to STOP. Stop over thinking everything and trying to understand everyone. Because your not. Your not going to understand everything!

Your not going to understand why people lie about things they have no reason to lie about.

Your not going to understand why people are so sneaky and vile.

Your not going to understand the concept of jealousy.

Your not going to understand how someone could stay awake during a Keri Hilson performance.

Your not going to understand why some people who are average everyday common folk think....they're a celebrity.

Your not going to understand how bad someone's eyes have to be to make a comment like "Precious is beautiful." And then keep a straight face.

Your not going to understand why children cry for no reason in public places, and the parents act like they don't hear it, but look at you crazy when you give them a look like "BITCH! YOUR CHILD'S CRYING IS RUINING MY LIFE!"

Your not going to understand why the guy on the motorcycle yesterday drove behind you flashing his high beams off and on for 10 minutes before you slammed on the breaks and he flew off the road into City Park somewhere.

Your not going to understand why girls are STILL, two years after Single Ladies came out, wearing leotards to the club like its an outfit. (BTW, Beyonce called. She's mortified.)

Your not going to understand why Rihanna won't look in the mirror and realize that red clown hair is absolutely wretched. And it's even more wretched, on these girls who they try to mimic it.

Your not going to understand why Amerii is still trying.

Your not going to understand why people would think it's OK for Mike Vick to have a dog. Um, HELLO!

Your not going to understand how OJ Simpson killed Nicole, and got away with it, then wrote a book about how he got away with it, and STILL has gotten away with it.

I digress.

This list could go on for days. So I'm done. I'm done trying to make sense of everything. All I'm going to do is drive myself mad. And I've already got a few marbles missing, Lord knows i need the few i have left. I'm just going to take Tupac's advice.

A friend (who actually got her psychology degree) told me the other day

"Crazy people think everyone else is crazy."

And it makes a whole lot of sense. Got that Kanye?

Why Every Woman Should Be a Gold Digger.

2010-12-09T11:11:00.001-08:00

It never fails, every Sunday night at 9 pm when Real Housewives of Atlanta comes on Kim becomes a trending topic. Shes a hoe. She's a home wrecker. She's a gold digger. She can't sing.

Guess what. Kim is RICH. She's the only bitch on that show who's car hasn't be repossessed or had to move out of her house to a "new" home. She's driving around in a Range Rover AND a BENTLEY. Do you know why? Because Kim knows what you young kittens are going to go crazy trying to figure out. Kim knows the formula. You stick with the rich, and you reap the benefits. You think Kim CARED that Big Poppa was married? Why would she? How about this question... Do you think Big Poppa's wife cared that he was fucking Kim? Of course not. Why do you think its been going on for 3 seasons. If Kim is driving around in a Bentley, what do you think his WIFE is driving? Go have a seat. Better yet, go take a ride in your corolla and ask yourself what your doing wrong in your life.

99.9% of men cheat.

I say 99.9 % because i want to leave the small percentage of men who are faithful, open. But to be honest, i truly believe ALL men cheat. They won't be faithful. At least our generation won't. They will NOT. Don't listen to all the stuff you read about how to keep a man happy and faithful, it won't work. A man can be completely happy, and he will still cheat on you. The only thing keeping him happy will do, is keep his cheating ass from leaving you, and not moving on to the next chick, who he will cheat on. There is no formula to keep a man from cheating. He will cheat. And if you think your man is not cheating, consider yourself highly blessed and favored. You lucked up with a good dog. He hides his shit well.

The Broke Man will cheat.

The Rich Man will cheat.

Here's the million $ Question:

Who do you think is happier, the rich man's wife, or the broke man's wife?

Girls drive themselves insane trying to keep their man faithful. Sweet heart, it's not going to happen. So listen to me well, if your going to deal with a man's cheating lying ass you may as well get broken off for it. He may be cheating, but at least you'd be driving a Benz and have the money to compensate for his stepping out.

I tell this to my sister, just like i tell it to my female friends. A man will be a man. Rich or Poor. Cheating is something that just will be done. The only thing better then pussy on a regular basis, is new pussy on a regular basis. And the thing about something NEW, is that it always gets OLD. That's just that. He can be totally fulfilled with you. But believe there is some busted bitch down the street with some cheap shoes and a big ass that he wants to dive into just because he never has before. No she doesn't look better then you, they never do. But she hasn't fucked him yet either. That's the difference.

So again, why not reap the benefits of a rich man? These broke men are going to do the same shit to you that the rich one does.

I remember how people made such a big deal about Tiger Woods and his 5 + mistresses. I laughed because i know men who make Tiger Wood's look like Mother Theresa. And they live at home with their momma. Don't even have a car. Doing the same shit. Those the ones who need to be on Vanity Fair.

Marry Rich. Screw your husband. And when he screws around on you, at least you have his black card to make you feel better in the morning.

Or...

Be a lesbian. But from what i hear, they cheat like men to. So good luck with that.

Am I a bad friend?

2010-12-09T10:24:00.000-08:00

I've always said that when people tend to loose alot of friends, it HAS to be them. Now I'm wondering if that's really the case.

I went to an all boys school where brother hood was taught to be one of the strongest bonds. I never took that serious, because honestly, i've always thought niggas were shady creatures. Maybe thats my 1st problem. But i had friends. We had our group. And for the most part, even in our adult hood, we are all still friends (except for 1 who always proved to be a shady character from the beginning). Of course we don't hang out every weekend and party all night anymore, but at any given time we can pick up the phone and call each other. Therefor I've always considered myself a good friend to them. Especially seeing how I'm always the one that everyone picks up the phone and calls 1st for advice. And i listen. Even when its the same story. For the 12x. And still give the best advice i know how to give.

It wasn't until college happened that i began to question how loyal of a friend i was. I've lost many friends throughout that period. Now granted some of them were due to life style differences and moving, and things of that nature, but some of the friends were friends that i really considered to be my "BEST" friends as some point in my life. Maybe i use that word to loosely. But i did see us being friends forever.

Now 1 friend, the one who i was really close with, simply stopped talking to me once in a serious relationship. I'm sure there is some background to the reason that i still don't know about. The confusing part is that as long as we had been friends, we had a very open line of communication. If we had a problem with each other, or something the other did, we talked about it. There was never an issue that we couldn't talk about. So when this last issue, whatever it may have been arose, and we didn't talk about, they just cut me off, no reason given. It made me question myself. I reached out to them numerous times. I put my pride aside and called repeatedly. No response. No returned phone call, no returned text, nothing. What did i do? Or what did he think i did? Did i wrong this person in a way?

The 2nd friend, for lack of better words, was just a complete psycho-path. And we had been friends the longest. Life slowly turned him into a person nobody in their right mind would ever want to be around. He was a miserable soul, and I've always known it, but i dealt with it anyway because he was my friend. People would always ask "HOW are you friends with someone like that. He needs help!" But he was my friend. You accept them for the good and the bad. Right?

We eventually parted ways. I got sick of his misery, and he got sick of me challenging his ridiculous opinions. The strangest part is, when i see him out, nothing in me even remotely wants to be their friend again. I don't hate them, i just have absolutely no desire to be their friend again. When people ask about them, and i say we don't speak anymore, they don't even ask why, they just laugh because they already know he's a nut. I guess its strange because i always told myself you accept friends for who they are. I guess i couldn't accept him. It goes back to my blog about me being judgmental. So again, does that make me a bad friend?

I was told a long time ago by someone who i deem as very wise that the older you get the less friends you'll have. And it seems like that is coming true. I just never saw that for myself and my friends. I know this may be a little silly to some people but to me friendship is about as serious as a boyfriend/ girlfriend. It's a relationship. Just because you may not be physically intimate doesn't make it any less intimate. And just like you would want to be the best girlfriend, or boyfriend you could be, i want to be the most loyal friend i can be.

The 2010 Version of Racism.

2010-11-18T20:26:00.000-08:00

I remember when I was 13 years old my parents would send me to a boarding school in Mississippi for the summer. School had about 400 students. Probably about 50 of them were black.

It was one day that we had taken a trip to the beach that I and this kid named Wolf got into a verbal argument. I remember him getting so mad it looked like he wanted to attack me. Of course, having his god given common sense, he didn’t, and opted for what he felt was the nastiest thing he could tell a black boy. “You Nigger!” He screamed. The 1^st thing I said was “That’s the best you can do? That’s so old.” Immediately all the counselors surrounded us. They huddled around me as if to guard me from what had already been said. “I’m so sorry you had to hear that.” They all kept repeating. I remember thinking “What’s the big deal? It’s just a word. Words only have as much power as we give them.” I can’t exactly remember what happened to Wolf, but I never saw him again.

Now its 2010 and I think Racism has a whole new meaning. A lot of people now a days don’t know what racism is anymore. Of course we have the common definition of what racism is. We all know what that is. And now we have the 2010 version of racism.

The 2010 Version of Racism is the one that’s a bit harder to spot. That’s the kind of racism where you can still be friends with someone of another race, but still think your better then them. I remember I cringed watching The View when Whoopi attempted to defend Mel Gibson. Claiming he’s been in her house. He’s been around her children. That doesn’t mean anything anymore. You can be friends with a black person, and still be racist. You can be friends with a white person, and still be racist. When you think your superior to someone because of their race, well that’s RACIST. Even if you are friends with them, or your polite to them. Like I said, its 2010. Racism has evolved. It would just be ignorant and old fashioned to walk around not speaking to someone because of their race. That’s a given. We all know, no matter what the race, they’re pretty much not going anywhere.

I find that with this new 2010 version of racism, we are black people feel a sense of “entitlement” because of the awful things that have been done in the past. So it’s almost like we feel like were “allowed” to be racist just because we are the minority or because of slavery. I say, save it. It’s old. I never was a person who let racism take over control of my life and affect how I feel about anything. It is what it is. Maybe I’m too laid back. But I’m not going to stress about something that I know isn’t going to change.

I always find it so funny, how people try to defend Kanye West. Claiming he’s not a racist. He’ll make a movie, with all black people sitting at a table, with all white servers, and say it wasn’t racism, it was about color schemes. He’ll march on stage, and embarrass and humiliate a girl because he feels like because Beyonce is talented and BLACK and successful, that she deserved that award over Taylor Swift, who is white and talented, and successful, AND sold more albums. But that’s not racism? It’s that sense of entitlement. He felt like he had the RIGHT to do so, because he’s black, he’s the minority, people can’t possibly think he’s racist because he’s black, he doesn’t have the power to be racist. No sir, you are definitely a racist. And you don’t even know it.

This week alone I’ve even found myself defending Oprah against 3 different people. 2 black, and 1 white. Funny right? Black people think Oprah is racist because she caters to a white audience to much (in THEIR opinion, I don’t think so at all, but that’s always they’re argument) or that she often degrades black men. Like she doesn’t lay with Stedman every night. Maybe she’s simply stating the obvious. I guess we forget that Oprah did the have the “Legends Ball” where she had Gladys Knight, Pattie Labelle, Tina Tuner, Cicley Tyson, Maya Angelou, ROSA PARKS, Alice Walker, and Dionne Warwick. That’s just to name a few. Or that she opened an all girls school in AFRICA. But that’s not enough us. Why didn’t she open a school in America? For white girls? What about them? That’s what my white co-worker said. Oprah is supposed to change the world I guess. I digress.

It’s always so interesting how people will see one thing, and totally disregard the other, and so quickly make up their mind without going down the list of facts.

DISCLAIMER: I personally don’t actually think Taylor Swift is talented. But talent is based on opinion. In some people’s mind she can really sing. I don’t think so, but that’s just me. And I definitely think Beyonce deserved the award over her. But again, that’s my opinion. Everyone has one. Numbers said different I guess.

Christian Troy

2010-11-12T18:57:00.000-08:00

I was sitting home watching Nip/Tuck the other day (one of my favorite shows in the world) and i can't exactly remember what Christian Troy was doing, but if your a fan of the show you know it was probably not something good. Now as someone who is normally a fan of the Villain in most shows or movies, i was always puzzled as to why i was never a fan of Christian Troy. And it came to me while watching that episode. Christian Troy is a really REALLY bad person. Worst then any Villain.

Like i explained in my previous blog, the appeal of a villain to me is the complexity of their character. They're story. Why they are the way they are. What led them to be such a vile villainous person. But normally, even with the villain, they always have a soft spot for someone. Just 1 person. Christian Troy, had a soft spot for no one. Not his best friend, his fiance, his wives, or even his son. Sometimes i understood his logic. But most times i just sat there and shook my head in disbelief.

Most of the time, the villain is victim to jealousy. That's usually their reason to be so evil, thus trying to take out the good guy. But Christian's issue wasn't just jealousy. It was self hate. And when you hate yourself, you can't really love anyone else. But from our point of view of the show, Christian had absolutely no reason to hate himself as much as he did. He was good looking, filthy rich, and smart. Not as smart as his partner, but i mean he was a plastic surgeon. That's usually how it is with the really bad people though, people who from the human eye, have no reason in the world to hate themselves. Those inner demons are a bitch.

I'm a believer that there really are truly bad evil people in this world. Not the kind that are jealous of envious of a person. So they are just cruel to them. That's typical "Bad Guy" behavior. No, i mean really evil people. People who could care less about anyone but themselves. The kind of people that really don't have a conscious. They can hurt their best friend, brother, sister, wife, husband, or anyone that is close to them, without really thinking about it. Misery does love company. But i think once misery manifests into a lifestyle, that's something completely different. Theirs no saving that. (At least not without the help of a serious therapist)

I always say we as humans, always make the mistake of believing we are the only exception in most of these bad people's lives, because we believe they love us. We can watch them do such awful stuff to other people, but when you love someone you think, "They would never do that to me." But a bad person, will be a bad person. They don't really know how to truly love someone. Or be their friend. They love themselves more then anyone else, so they wouldn't care to learn how to be a better person. They may try to change, because they love you, but eventually, the real them will seep through. Sometimes they may even do good things. Bad people do good things sometimes, just like good people sometimes do bad things. Its about being able to tell which was genuine.

I read somewhere a along time ago that if you really want to see a person's true self, look at how the treat other people. People that they don't know. Pay attention in how they interact day to day with random people. The lady at the drive through at McDonald's or the waiter at a restaurant. That's when they're true character will show. And please don't believe them when they say they'll never do it to you. Because when mad day comes, not only will they do it to you, they'll do it 10 times worst.

An Honesty Box Message.

2010-11-07T09:15:00.001-08:00

(Click message to see it clearer if its to blurry)

Its always so funny to see what random people think of you. I've never thought i was so strikingly good looking that people thought i was stuck up. Nor did i ever think i gave off the illusion that i had lots of money. But people will see what they want to see. Its almost flattering, but its from a male. Go figure.

Yes, I am judging you.

2010-10-11T16:12:00.000-07:00

Judgmental: Inclined to make judgments, especially moral or personal ones

I sat on twitter the other day, and watched my friends joke with someone, back and forth, who I just don’t see it for. So, naturally, I began to run down all the reasons in my mind why this person just disgusted me in such a way. Then I realized something....I’m Judgmental. My friends had been telling me this for a while now, so it’s not like I hadn’t heard it before. I just never agreed.

There are just certain people, who I would rather not be associated with. For whatever the reason, have it be class, the company they keep, or just their attitude in general, I don’t want to be associated with them. I write them off, and simply act as if they don’t exist. I judge them, and then I pray that everyone associated with ME does the same.

There is no real way to justify this. Because I do believe being judgmental is a bad character trait. But I can’t help it. All I can do is explain it.

People are judged by the company they keep. Guilty by association is real. And to be completely honest, it’s true. And if it’s not, then you take the time out of your life to test the theory. I won’t. If you hang with a bunch of thieves, I’m going to assume you’re a thief. And yes, I’m judging you. If you hang with a group of delusional buffoons, it’s only fair to assume you’re a delusional buffoon. So yes, I’m judging you, and I want nothing to do with you. And I’m more then sure, people feel the exact same way about me and my group of friends. We are all grouped together.

Now a few things I don’t judge are relationship decisions. I’ve done things in my relationship that I’m more then sure are worth severe scrutiny. So I can’t judge. And I know that when emotions are involved, all logical decisions go out of the window. People feel before they think. Now I may not take or ask advice from you based the decisions that you’ve made, but the same is said for the decisions I’ve made in my relationship. You may not feel I’m the strongest “adviser” either. Which, to be real, I’m probably not. Like I said in my Relationship 101 post, it’s your relationship, make your own rules, and do what works for you. And I’ll do the same. We don’t have to compare.

What I find myself judging the most about though, is simply common sense decisions, which that of so many people clearly choose to ignore. And then have the audacity to be shocked and appalled with the usual bad results. We are adults now. We aren’t teenagers anymore. The trail and error period is over. You live, and you learn. If you are living and not learning, then what the shit are you doing? You know what is good for you and what is not. You simply choose to ignore it, and hope for the best. And it’s fine to think like that….in a fantasy world. But in the real world, you should usually go with your 1^st mind. Call me insensitive, call me judgmental, call me what you want. But if you choose to touch a hot stove, then you better nurse your own wounds. I’m not here to condone your foolish decisions, and to catch you when you fall down. That’s life. When we know better, we do better. Or at least we should, and if you don’t…well…I’m judging you. And to be honest, I don’t see how someone couldn’t judge someone who chooses to make foolish decisions. You can always argue “Well Jonathan, that’s your opinion.” But the thing is, there is Universal understanding of what is good for you, and what is bad. That universal understanding is called COMMON SENSE. Some people have it, and some people CLEARLY do not. And I always tell people this when they say it’s your “opinion”, when my opinions and theories stop turning into FACTS, then I’ll stop giving them. Until then, I’m going to go with my god given sense, while you choose not to. You can go with yours, and choose to be dumb. And again, YES, I’m judging you.

And you completely reserve the right, to judge me.

Is that her nose?

2010-09-30T11:58:00.000-07:00

So after watching the “Keeping up with the Kardashian” episode when Kim had her whole “botched Botox” debacle, I decided to write this blog.

So clearly, we all know that plastic surgery happens in Hollywood. Your fav, and mine have all had some work done. Whether you want to admit it or not, THEY’VE HAD WORK DONE! It’s just the reality of Hollywood. These people are not born looking like this. They have the best physical trainers, the best make up artist, fake hair for days, and they diet…not for months to shed a few pounds…for years.

So as a huge fan of Kim Kardashian’s flawlessly painted mug, I can say I was highly upset when I was watching this god-awful acting. “I’m allergic to Botox” Kim lied, at the end of the Episode. Now, I don’t know who Kim Kardashian was trying to fool, but we all know she’s not allergic to Botox, or any other surgical procedures that helped create that beautiful face of hers. Let’s just be real:

Rome wasn’t built in a day. And neither was Kim’s face.

Now no one can deny the girl isn’t drop-dead gorgeous. I don’t care what anyone says, this girl has gotten herself a perfume line, a clothing line, a jewelry line, a book deal, a reality show (that’s lasted more then 2 seasons), and is currently a beauty editor, all off of the fact that she’s beautiful. What other reality TV star has done that?

In my opinion though, nothing is wrong with plastic surgery. I mean these people have to compete with people who are deemed the most beautiful people in the world.. These people’s careers are totally based on their physical appearance. They get paid millions of dollars to keep their stomach rock hard, breasts perky, and ass tight. These people are the people who define what “beauty” is in America. So you have to know that it’s not always real.

And this goes for as us normal citizens getting it done to! If you are self conscious of something and want it fixed, who is anyone to judge you? Make up, weaves, spanx, and padded bra’s all serve the exact same purpose as plastic surgery: To achieve a specific look that you are going for.

I remember when Heidi Montage has her 1^st batch of surgeries. She looked amazing. She had her nose done, and her boobs done. Now people came down on her hard, but people don’t realize that this girl lives her life on television. Who wouldn’t want to look flawless everyday if you are being recorded 18 hours of your day? You think people are going to tune in to a cast full of ugly people every week? We live in a shallow world. Why do you think we don’t watch The Spin Crowd?

On the same token, it works against them. That pressure to be beautiful 24/7 can be rough, I would imagine. You remember what happened to Tyra Banks when she gained 10 pounds and got caught at the wrong angle. We had the poor girl crying on her TV show talking about “Kiss my fat ass! Im not fat! I’m curvy” and then next season she had dropped 30 pounds. Mariah Carey won’t leave her house due to her new full figure. And because Janet Jackson gained weight a few times, the world is convinced she has a love child that she’s hiding in a closet somewhere. And we all see what Lil Kim and the NEW Heidi Montage have turned into due to plastic surgery.

But it comes with the job. So I can’t say I feel sorry for these people. We support your shows and movies and music, partly because of how you look. People don’t like to admit that, but you don’t see many ugly people at the top of the Success Latter. For every India Arie, there will be an Alicia Keys. Regardless of who’s more talented, the pretty girl always comes out ahead. I mean

Hey Rihanna!!

We now live in a world where looks get you further then talent. So if you can be completely untalented and still average 5.5 Million a year like Kimmy K, why wouldn’t you get your face chiseled to perfection to keep your checks coming in? I know I would.

So before you go screaming about how your fav is such a “natural” beauty just remember this…Their not. And if they are, they’re probably not as successful. Where is India Arie again? I rest my case.

And Let The Church Say....Amen

2010-09-23T12:12:00.000-07:00

I’ve spent pretty much my entire life raised in your stereotypical southern Baptist church. For 18 years I went faithfully every Sunday. Sunday school from 8:30 am to 10:00, followed by the Service from 10:45 to 1:00 pm. My mother, was (and still is) the Minster of Music. Director of the Choir. And on the Board of Trustee. I mean she went the whole 9 yards. You get where I’m going.

My Father is a different story. For the 18 years that I was forced to go to church my father went about 8 times. And that was for Christmas. He never said he didn’t believe in God, his was response was always “I believe in Nature”.

My relationship with the church has been a rocky one. As soon as I was 19 I stopped going. For about 4 years. My views changed. I stopped believing in organized religion (For various reasons that would obviously turn into a novel not a blog entry). But I have a great relationship with God. I pray everyday. Maybe I don’t do it traditionally on my knees every night and morning, but it definitely gets done.

About a year ago, I started going back to church. Now I won’t lie, it was somewhat therapeutic in some aspects. I heard some great, fulfilling sermons. But at the end of the day, I still felt the same way, and I’ve stopped going again.

This situation with Bishop Eddie Long really hit home for me. For many reasons.

In case you don’t know who Bishop Eddie Long is, he’s a prominent Pastor over one of the largest churches in the Country. This Prominent Bishop who in fact, not long ago led a march against Gay Marriage, and is notorious for preaching against Homosexuals, may be a…**drum roll please**….. homosexual.

Well Old Bishop has been caught up in a scandal. 2 men are suing him for “coercing” them into having sex with them. Various articles go into detail about how Long persuaded the 2 men into engaging in various sexual acts with them by using his “Power” as a minister. Also he showered them with lavish gifts such as cars, trips, and jewelry.

Now, this all could very well not be true. I honestly, don’t have an opinion on whether it is or not. As a young man raised in a church, I know that many of the things Bishop Long gave these young men may seem extravagant to some, but it is quite common in a Southern church. Gifts such as trips. There were many trips that the men’s youth group was taken on. I didn’t go, because I hated them all, but that’s a different story. Now as for the Mustang that he allegedly brought one of them, and the excessive jewelry, that’s a bit questionable. But we all know when you in a position of Power, and a situation can look questionable, people can take things, and run with it as far as they can. Look what happened to Michael Jackson.

But how ironic is it that this Pastor who consistently preaches about the wrongful doings of homosexuals. Marches proudly against it.. And is married, with four children I might add, be caught in a homosexual scandal. Homosexuality is something that is heavily frowned upon in black churches, and in the black community. But then people want to act shocked and surprised when these men are running around leading double lives. These men are filled with self-hatred because it’s drilled in their head that being gay is a crime against God. Yet, it’s something that you can’t control. Something that you can’t “CHOOSE” to go away, or just stop it you want to. So what are they to do to mask the shame of something they can’t get make go away or stop. They turn into Bishop Eddie Long. A man, making the most noise about something that he is most ashamed about. (If it’s true)

Most people turn their heads to the hypocrisy in churches. I know everything isn’t perfect. But the kind of person I am, I just can’t. I can’t sit somewhere and have someone tell me what I should or should not be doing while they are doing the same thing, if not worst. People put so much faith in their Pastor’s that they can do no wrong, or that they are “Ordained by God” so they are the closest thing to perfection there is. When in actuality, they are normal, just like us.

Then, what's even more ironic part about this is that when I heard, I wasn’t mad or even shocked…I was kind of sad. I was sad for these 2 guys who were seeking guidance from their pastor who I’m more then sure they believed was there to give them nothing but the best advice (as WE young men in the church are taught), were taken advantage of. And I feel sorry for that Pastor, who is filled with so much shame that it forces him to do things like this. It’s all so heartbreaking that we as a community can’t move forward from this kind of taboo topic. So i prayed for the 2 guys, i prayed for the Pastor, and i prayed that one day we will do better. As a Church, and as a Community.

Married-Separated-Divorced?

2010-08-10T16:56:00.000-07:00

So i decided to tackle this issue since it seems to be the new big issue. Is dating while married ever ok? Or separated? Here's my take on it.

I think the whole world saw the whole Alicia Keyes/Mashonda/Swizz Beats thing go down.

Mashonda is screaming that Alicia Keys stole her husband. Swearing that Alicia is sleeping with her man and that she needs to step back and let her salvage what is left of her marriage. She let the world know how much pain she was in. She let the world know that Alicia Keys is a home wrecker. And to add insult to injury Alicia Keys is pregnant with Mashonda's husband's child.

Swizz Beats says him and Mashonda have been separated. Period. It's been over. And that's just that.

Alicia is quiet as a pet cat.

Ok, so this is what makes the situation questionable. IF Mashonda and Swizz Beats were separated was Alicia Keys wrong for dating him in the 1st place? Are you just not supposed to date if your separated from your spouse? I mean we all know divorce can take some time, sometimes well over a year to get finalized. I know in Louisiana, you have to be legally SEPARATED for 6 months before they will even begin any type of divorce talk. So for those 6 months are you not to see or date anyone else? I know some people believe married is married, and until your DIVORCED your married. But i just feel like if your SEPARATED your no longer TOGETHER. And just because paper work is involved your still NOT TOGETHER.

Secondly, i'm a fond believe that when a man and a woman take vows to each other, they are the ones taking the VOWS. Not the rest of the world. Which means Mashonda in MY opinion, should not have said a word to anyone but Swizz Beats. Alicia Keys does not owe Mashonda a thing on this green earth. Swizz Beats and Mashonda took those vows. Not Alicia Keys. She shouldn't be asking Alicia Keys not to sleep with her husband, she should be asking her husband not to be sleeping with other women. A woman cannot wreck a home. If she can, that it was never a home to begin with, it was an imitation of one. If Swizz Beats did not leave Mashonda for Alicia Keys, please know that he would have left her for someone else.

Now before you have a fit, let me say this. I do think sleeping with a married person is MORALLY wrong, IF they are still MARRIED literally AND figuratively. What i mean by that is if THEY ARE STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP. To be sleeping with a man, who is sleeping with his wife every night is trifling. That is what one would consider an affair. And i would never support adultery. Ever. But if they are separated, living in separate places, and are just married by paper work, i'm sorry, but i don't see the crime in that. Its 2010. I know people who have been married for years, and don't even live together anymore. Simply married by paper, but don't conform to the meaning of it in any way shape or form. And i won't judge them. And neither should you.

Then we have situations like Fantasia's. She was seeing Antwuan Cook, who is married, but she believed was separated. Turns out, he and his wife weren't separated. They were still very much together. Unbeknown to Fanny of course. Drove her to attempt suicide.

Now situations like Fantasia's is why I personally, would never date anyone married, even if they are separated. I consider that baggage. And if i don't come with any baggage, i'm not looking for someone who does. But again, thats my personal opinion. I would never judge anyone for dating someone who is separated or going through a divorce. And it amazes me how quickly people are to throw stones. But everyone has different views on how marriage goes and how it works.

Relationship 101

2010-07-15T18:35:00.000-07:00

I think we all have in our minds, before we ever get into a relationship, how we would imagine the perfect relationship for ourselves to be. How it would look from the outside. And how it would be on the inside. And of course once in a relationship, its nothing like we imagine.

I'm a firm believer that people should create their own rules to their relationship. There is no guide to tell us what to do. No one has the picture perfect relationship like in the movies. All relationships have problems. Some people fight. Some people don't. Some get cheated on. Some don't. Some just don't see eye to eye at all. But at the end of the day its all about love. And when you love someone, you compromise. Your rules changes. You may have to adjust. Not settle, but compromise. And what works for YOU, works for YOU. What works for you, may not work for your friend. And what works for your friend, may not work for you.

I think people's biggest problem these days are worrying about trying to conform to what they believe a "perfect" relationship should be. When in actuality a good relationship is a happy one. As long as your happy, your good. Now some people may not know the difference between being happy, and being content. But that comes with being in love. Love does that to you. It blinds you in a sense. Deludes the mind from seeing whats obviously right in front of your face. But it also opens your eyes to see things that others can't.

My relationship advice to any and everyone is do you. My longest relationship to date is 5 yrs. And they were a 5 rocky years. But i never not once regret a thing. I've learned so much. And changed so much. And grown. I've put up with things, that i would have never in my life thought i would put up with. I've done things completely out of character.Do i wish some things could have been done differently? Definitely. But again, there is no guide to tell us what to do. For a very long time i compared my relationships to other relationships to either:

A. Make myself feel better about my relationship.

B. Told myself it needed to be over because thats not how my relationship was.

But at the end of the day i realized its my relationship. We make the rules. What works for us, works for us. It doesn't matter what outsiders think, or what advice your friends have to offer. Only you can say what YOU can deal with. Only you can say if you are happy. And if you are happy, and i mean truly happy, then your doing better then most people are and you probably don't even know it. Your doing better then that couple who never fights, but are just together because they "get along" not because their "in love". Or the married couple who have been together f0r 20 + years, but don't even speak.

Not everyday is going to be a good day. But everyday shouldn't be a bad day either. I've learned over these years to never judge someone for the choices they make in their relationship. Because even though I may not understand how they do it...its not my relationship. So what i think, doesn't matter.

The one thing i do know is this. Everyone deserves love. And everyone deserves respect. And once you establish that, you can build the rest any way the 2 of you see fit.

Good luck and love with all your heart. Its always worth it, even if it doesn't work out sometimes.

All Press is NOT Good Press.

2010-06-27T08:58:00.000-07:00

For some reason, people in Hollywood (and other places) really believe that All Press is Good Press. I guess i can understand the "concept" of the statement. If your in the press, for WHATEVER reason,people are invested. They see you. Your shinning. But my only problem with this HOW do they see you.

The problem is your reputation. If your willing to sacrifice your character, then by all means do something that will get you some "Press". People really will do anything for those 15 minutes of fame. I guess i can't understand it because seriously...

who ONLY wants 15 minutes?

When your reputation proceeds you, you end up like Lindsey Lohan. You could be the most talented beautiful actress in the world. But all that negative press, that people are telling you is "Good", kind of kicks you in the ass when your trying to get work. She can't land a movie role to save her soul.

Now, in some instances is does work. Most reality stars can really abide by the whole "All press is Good press" Because they only strive for their 15 minutes. They have no talent to sustain them anyway. It also worked for Britney Spears. Her albums will still sell. And her tours still sell out. She gets awful reviews. She can't land a endorsement to save her live. She still can't get her kids back. But she can at least sell albums. I wonder whats more important to her....

But for the most part, i personally, don't believe it works. It normally looks like a cry for desperation. And usually works in reverse. This whole Lil Kim Vs. Nicki Minaj thing has people "noticing" Kim, since she's been out of remission. She was NEVER irrelevant in my mind. But she seems to think that she was. We see you Kimberly Jones. Now lets see if her new single will do well. Lets see if she can sell some albums AGAIN. Because like i stated in my last blog, i'm a huge fan, but this "desperate act" turned me OFF.

She BETTER come back with something sickening. And HOT! Or her 15 minutes will die down to. And She's ACTUALLY good at what she does!

And last but not least we all have to remember the biggest cry for help in 2009, to get some "Buzz" around her already decaying career. She is a PRIME example of why All Press is NOT Good Press....

Ms. Keri Baby. Dissing Queen Beyonce...to get no response...and poor albums sales. Betcha she wishes she had done something different. Now she's an Avon Lady...Selling cosmetics backstage.

Oh Lil Kim...

2010-06-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

So i would call it "beef" but that would involve 2 people. This clearly only involves one.

So i'm sure you all know the blogs have erupted last week with Lil Kim's rampage of slurs and disses against Nicki Minaj. Dividing fans of both the female rappers and starting vicious wars on twitter between them. Lil Kim really has done so much its kind of hard to recap. But to make a long story short The Queen Bee feels like Nicki Minaj has not paid homage to her for using her formula to become the growing emcee she is today. If you haven't been updated you can click here

As a huge fan of both, initially i was neither #TeamLilKim or #TeamNickiMinaj because i think beef is stupid in general. Both of them are good! There is enough room for both of you. Nicki Minaj is getting bigger and bigger every feature, and Lil Kim is a legend. She has us fans just waiting for her to drop a hard 16 and come back to us.

Now as a hardcore Kim fan, i will say this. It is obvious to any TRUE Lil Kim fan, that Nicki Minaj is doing her 90's look, just with 2010 spin on it. That's clear. We know that. BUT that was the 90s. And Lil Kim, you did do it 1st. But seriously, what are you mad for? Imitation is the highest form of flattery. So why get mad. Every since Nicki Minaj has stepped into the game people have been calling her an imitation Kim. And thats fine. It didn't stop Nicki, and it really shouldn't make Kim mad. And its not like Lil Kim is still running with that look now a days anyway. You left the Barbie thing and the wigs alone a long time ago. So by all means let her play with your toys. I don't think its a problem.

But as of late, i'll say I've really began to feel embarrassed as a Lil Kim fan. When Kim pulled that nobody bum bitch on stage (whos name i refuse to mention because i won't give her anymore shine then what she already has) to assist her in dissing Nicki i was through. Like seriously,what the fuck are you doing? How "Iconic" of you Kim. Nicki Minaj is a NEWBIE. For an artist of your caliber to throw shots at a NEWBIE is just down right humiliating. You let your WORK speak for yourself. And the fact that Nicki Minaj will not even respond to the fuckery, makes it look just like that: FUCKERY that is beneath her. So how does that make YOU look Kim?

What also pissed me off, is that Nicki Minaj has in fact paid homage and respect to Kim MANY of MANY times. Which makes Lil Kim look even more desperate. Desperate for attention and press. And yes that will get you attention but NEGATIVE attention is NOT good attention. All press is NOT good press (thats my next blog by the way).

Now the last thing Lil Kim did was a full interview pretty much explaining why she's so mad. You can listen here. She basically explains that she's been feeling like Nicki Minaj has been throwing subtle disses at her since day one. "Pebbles"she calls them. Not rocks, but small pebbles. That she ignored. Until now. And when she did a song with Bird man, she felt like it got scrapped because of their loyalty to Nicki Minaj. After listening to the interview...i've pretty much decided that Lil Kim has lost her damn mind. Nothing she mentioned seemed disrespectful at all. But in her mind it was. So. Whatever. She feels justified.

I just feel like this. Lil Kim, your are the greatest. I STILL listen to La Bella Mafia. And people who aren't fans of Lil Kim, but are fans of Nicki Minaj, are not going to understand the similarities. But at the end of the day Let you work speak for itself. All Lil Kim had to do, was release a record. A hot one. And that would have been it. Nicki has not even released an album, let alone a decent single yet. She has MUCH to still prove. So let the girl live.

MOVIE REVIEW: Sex and The City 2

2010-06-03T17:57:00.000-07:00

So because i was so hopelessly devoted to the 1st movie i decided to do a review on the 2nd. We all know the 2nd movie has been getting some really bad reviews from fans and critics alike, so i decided to break it down for everyone. (In my own opinion of course)

There were many great things difficult to live up to in 1st SATC. First of all, it was very refreshing after 4 years, to see the four women together. The chemistry between all of them is so real, it makes the movie very enjoyable to watch. It doesn't even look like their acting. Even if the movie wasn't AMAZING, i'm sure people would have said it was anyway because so much hype was built around it.

In SATC 1 many monumental and memorable things happened. I don't know about you, but i went and saw the movie 3 times, just to see the Vogue photo shoot. Carrie and her wedding dress, and the bird in her head. The Fashion Week scene. All things that stand out, memorable parts in the movie. Then there were the monumental things that helped shape the store line. The awful wedding scene. Big leaving Carrie at the alter. Steve cheating on Miranda. Miranda telling Big not to ever get married (bitch), and how if she going to break that to her bestfriend? These were so many things that happened in the movie that kept you interested for the 2 hours and 30 minutes you were in there. And of course the fashion was executed effortlessly yet flawlessly throughout the movie.

Now those are all the things where SATC 2 kind of fell short. Nothing monumental happened in the movie. At all. Nothing to mold an interesting story line. Which kind of left the movie a tad bit boring. Almost like an episode of the show. Little small problems, that would have been covered on the show, not stretched out for 2 hours and 40 minutes. And the fashion was good, but not great. It didn't seem effortless in this movie. It looked like they were either REALLY trying in one scene, or not trying hard enough in the next. Like Carrie would have on a full outfit chilling in her house, with Christian Loubitons on her feet. And anytime Miranda is the fashionista of the movie, something ain't right. And again, no outfits that were "so amazing" that stuck out. I remember when Samantha walked out of the Gucci store in the 1st SATC with all those bags, i wanted to slap my neighbor. Or Carrie in the opening scene of with her Dior Extremes on. Or Charlotte at Fashion Week with her Fendi bag. Those are things worth remembering in the 1st movie. In this one... nothing worth remembering.

With all that being said, to be completely honest i didn't think the movie was totally tragic. It had some comic relief to it, and it did still entertain to a certain degree. It just didn't live up to the 1st one. Not even a little bit. There are no scenes that i can say i remember that made me want to go see the movie again. There is no outfit that just blew me away. It was just "ok". And if you were faithful to the show like i was, and to the 1st movie, then we both know that OK is never OK for SATC. I'm a fond believer that when something is GREAT, let it stay GREAT.

Don't ask my advice.

2010-05-28T16:04:00.001-07:00

You know what's funny about asking someone for "advice"?

Most of the time..more then half of the time...you know exactly what you need to do in the given situation. You just want to ask someone for "advice" so they will tell you what you want to hear. So that it'll justify the stupid decision that you want to make, but you know deep down that you shouldn't. So now you can blame it on the "advisor". When in actuality both of you know the truth. But nobody likes the truth. Especially when its ugly.

Don't ask my advice. Cause the kinda bitch i am, i'm going to tell you exactly what you should do. The real truth. And your still going to do what you WANT to do. Your either to scared, or not strong enough, or whatever you set back may be. But you know what that means?....

....You've wasted my time. And time is one of the few things, that you can never get back. So next time save your oxygen for somebody who doesn't wanna hurt your feelings. And i can save mine for someone who REALLY needs it, not for someone who wants to feel better about being a complete dumb ass.

Shoe Fetish: Summer Shoes

2010-05-28T15:57:00.000-07:00

Make a statement this summer.

Hater?

2010-05-16T13:58:00.000-07:00

There are many things in life that i know are just not meant for me to understand. The concept of a hater is one of them. I myself, have to much pride to hate on anyone. Hating stems from jealousy. And my mother taught me a long time ago that being jealous of what someone else has, is completely senseless.

I myself, never knew how much people hated me, or hated ON me for that matter, until of a little application for Facebook called "The Honesty Box" was invented. In case you don't know what that is, its a little inbox that people can feel free to express any thought or opinion about you, and do so in being completely anonymous. When i added the app to my Facebook profile..all hell broke loose. I was completely over-whelmed and shocked at the messages that flooded in. People would say things to me about myself that made me even ask "Are you sure you have the right person?"

What I've learned in growing up though, is that the number one reason for hate is insecurity. Which is why the target is usually someone deemed "popular" or anyone exuding confidence. I've always been a confident person. And most people who are not confident in themselves feel the need to TAKE your confidence. They do so by tearing you down with negative comments or lies and rumors, while attempting to boost their own self-esteem in the process. I could imagine that being an awful life to live. Being so jealous of a person for what you yourself can't possess. Just dreadful.

Now, there is a difference between hating on someone and simply being honest. Thats where is gets tricky. Because a GOOD hater, will use the "I'm just being honest" line whenever they can.Those are the haters that usually come in the form of friends and family. But it's all in how you deliver the message that will determines your motive. Like for instance when I start to gain weight, my mother will say

"Baby... you still have that gym membership?"

She's not hating. She's just letting me know I've been spending to much time with Blue Bell. And i can appreciate that. Because she knows that i would want to know. Now a hater would take to my honesty box and say

"Your so fat and you think your not. Well you are! Fatty Mac Fat Face!"

The difference is they are clearly trying to take a jab at my confidence. They aren't trying to help me. They are trying make fun of what they THINK will hurt my confidence. The problem is this...once i loose the weight...then what will you do? They will find another avenue of attack which they feel may hurt or hinder you. It gets very repetitive. Thats when it becomes clear whether they are a friend, or in fact a frenemy/ hater.

Then there are the people who (like myself) just enjoy a good laugh. There are so many delusional people in this world who swear everyone is hating on them, when clearly, they are just screaming for attention. Because someone with haters must be someone of importance. So i WANT you to believe i'm someone worth knowing, therefor i'm going to scream every 5 minutes about how many haters i have. When in actuality people don't even know you exist. They've created some fabricated life on Twitter in wanting you to believe they are this PERSON of status, when people of status are already known, they don't have to keep saying it over and over. And when your not for them, or simply ignore their attempts at getting your attention, they're going to refer to you as "one of their many haters". So comical right? I just continue to ignore. Besides, everyone knows broken cars make the most noise.

Shoe-Gasm

2010-05-06T17:50:00.000-07:00

Its almost like falling in love. It never happens when your looking for it. It sneaks up on you. Catches you by surprise. Hits you so hard you can't even catch your balance. So you just let yourself fall.

For me, it always happens when I'm just window shopping. Browsing. No intentions of buying anything. No shopping money. Just money to live off of till that next pay check. And then you see it. In the window...staring at you. And only you. Mesmerized. Its calling you. You have to try it on.

Your just going to try it on. Thats it. Then leave. Your not, under any circumstances, i repeat NOT, going to buy this amazing, breath taking shoe... that you may never see again.

"a size 12 please"

Maybe they won't have my size.That way, i'll have an excuse to leave. And run out of the mall before it happens again.

She floats from the back, moving in what seems like slow motion, bearing gifts. 2 boxes. A size 11 and a 12. So much for not having my size. Now i HAVE to try it on.

You lift the lid off of the box.Gasp. Its worst then what you excpeted. The impossible. Its even more captivating up close then it was in the window. Phenomenal. Who could make something so perfect, just for me? Was it you God?

You lift the shoe into the air, to get the full 360 view. Your questioned is answered. Almost instantly. Yes, only God could have created something this flawless. A matter of fact, he was just showing off.

The moment of truth. You slip the shoe onto your foot. No struggle. It slides on. Like a glove. You can't stop the smile that stretches across your face. Its simply Stunning. Everything your could have ever dreamed of. Right there, resting perfectly on your foot. Glowing.

Suddenly, all of the anxiety you've had up to this point vanishes. Everything seems alright now. Everything in the world is divinely perfect. So what if you and your boo had an argument this morning. It will be fine by the time i get home. So what if you had a bad day at work today. It'll be better tomorrow. It's just Monday, you can last a week without your lunch money. These God Given shoes, have made my day better. I must have them.

We

Are

Sole-Mates

"i'll take them" you tell the girl. She smiles. Look, she's just as happy for you as you are. She to, knows that these shoes were made for you.

The green card or the blue? It doesn't matter. I just have to have. And i have to have them NOW. If i come back for them, they may not be here! Then what? I'll die a slow and painful death thats what! Besides, what is an overdraft? I just laugh (Trina).

She swipes the card. You wait. The anxiousness, is like a knife stabbed into your gut. Pushed deeper, and deeper in with every second passed. After what seems like an eternity she looks up at you. Your eyes lock. Whats wrong? She smiles again. An angel she is. Nothing is wrong. "Accepted" flashes across the screen. Euphoria sweeps through your body. Feels like fire works on the 4th of July. YES! They are alllll mine! We belong together.

Thank God for these shoes, that have made my whole day worth living. And thank God for the Angel who brought them to me from the back. It was all worth it.

Moral of this Story: Stay out of ALDO between pay checks.

Obsessed with Olivia

2010-05-03T20:19:00.001-07:00

So unless your living under a rock, you'd know that "The City" started last week. And the best part about "The City" is the girl. And that girl is Olivia Palermo. Since the day i met her on the season premier of the city in 09 i was taken aback by this girls beauty and fashion sense. She's absolutely flawless from head to toe. And she's a bitch. A rich bitch. What more could i ever ask for?

Forever Young

2010-04-19T18:47:00.000-07:00

I just love they way Beyonce looks at Jay-Z when they are together on stage.

-Sigh-

Enjoy

The Bad Guy

2010-04-13T22:25:00.000-07:00

In any and every movie the good guy always wins. Thats a given. It's not difficult to understand why the good guy is "good". You never ask people why they do whats right. Why are they so nice. It's easy. It goes without question. People are nice, because its the right thing to do. Right? Well the good guy always bores me. They never require any character development. They are simply good. Theres never any depth to their character. Unless you count the fact that their probably in love with the some other characterless character in the movie.

Now the Villain is the one that often holds my interest. I'm a person who always longs to understand the logic behind people's actions. Why was the Joker so evil in The Dark Knight? Why was the Wicked Witch of the West so wicked in The Wizard of Oz? Why was Scar so jealous of his brother in The Lion King? I'm sure these Villains have a rather interesting story worth telling to explain why they are so villainous. But we never see that part. We just see the finished product. The result. Besides, people aren't born evil or cruel. We all start out innocent. With a clean slate. Everyone is the way they are for a reason.

As a person who is OFTEN misunderstood (for some reason,which i'll never know- i think i make myself quite clear most of the time), i often can always relate to the Villain. If i were the Hero, i would probably be bad at it. I don't care enough about the next person. Unless its a friend, love or family (immediate family at that) I would always have to stop and ask myself

"If the tables were turned, would this person be risking their life for me?"

And we all know that most likely, the answer would be

"No"

So..um yea, fuck you. Why waste my energy and God given talent on someone who wouldn't do the same for me? Because its right? Because its good? Because your friendly? Hmph.

My ALL time favorite (and misunderstood) Villains would have to be Miranda Presley and Regina George. I still don't know why Miranda is considered "The Devil" in "The Devil Wears Prada". I simply think that Miranda was aware of her position. She had a job to do. And you better do it to the best of your ability. In 5 inch heels. And if you CAN'T, then quit! There are a million other girls that would take the job in a heart beat! I don't see the problem! If Miranda did it on her rise to the top, why should she expect anything less from the people under her?

And as for Regina. Regina was just a real ass bitch. If your skirt was ugly, then she told you. You look a fool and you cannot sit with us today. Period. She laid it all out of the table from the beginning. No apologies. She looked flawless everyday, effortlessly. Why can't you? And if you can't, then go sit with the other uglies and nobodies. Go be regular. Basic. Normal. Irrelevant.

She herself was probably a better friend then most females today. Your girlfriends probably let you walk out the house looking any kind of way, and then laugh at you behind your back. Not Regina. She told you right then and there, you look a fugly mess. And would make fun of you to your face, not behind your back. I have so much more respect for someone who is real and honest. Even if its brutally honest, its honesty none the less. Something that most people in this world couldn't provide you with, even if you paid them to.

I guess i'm just a mean devil that wears Gucci. I can live with that.

My Happy Easter B-Day

2010-04-04T21:43:00.000-07:00

Today, on Easter Sunday, April 4, 2010, i made 25 years old. Today, realizing that i'm now 25, was probably the least favorite day of my B-Day weekend.

So Friday my friends threw me an surprisingly well planned SURPRISE party at Club Ampersand. I was actually surprised. The emotion most people know as "surprise" or "shock" is an emotion that is rarely tapped into on my end. And i mean very VERY seldom. But, they got me. A party that i will always remember. I know it took effort, because i'm one of those people who notice any and everything. But they put in work. We had a great time.

Saturday was a little less festive. My friends took me to the Trina concert. I'm not a huge fan of hers, but it was something different to do. And i always like to see people live to see how they execute. I can't truly STAN for someone until i see them live. Anybody can make a good album with good vocals, but you see them live and your kinda like..

"Wait, What?"....

*cough cough* Mariah Carey *cough cough*.

We arrived at the Venue for 10:00 pm on the dot. My friend,who is a hardcore Trina fan, had to be the 1st in line to get a good spot. Once we arrived at the door, i was told me a little short fat white man, who clearly doesn't have a television at home, that my shoulder porn was to "dangerous", and that i needed to change.
A few spikes never hurt anybody right? This is what i get for being adventurous. Normally, i'd be my regular preppy dressed self. I opted (against my better judgment) to be Lady Gaga-esque for my B-Day weekend. And I get turned away because i might stab somebody with my shoulders. Whatever Mr Security. Little fat fuck.

After retrieving my blazer out of the car, we stood patiently in the venue for hours upon hours waiting for Ms Amazing to arrive on stage. We were tortured with awful local artist, and even more awful fashions.

I was quite hard to to remain sane in such a atmosphere. My feet felt like they were about to give out at any minute. I wanted to scream and curse, punch the fat security guard who wouldn't let me in because he's never seen a goddamn music video in his life, and make a dramatic exit..but i didn't. I maintained my composure.

Finally, at 2:35 am Trina and her ass arrived on stage.

And i must say i was amazed. You want to know what was so amazing? The fact that she could walk up and down the stage, high as a kite, with her eyes closed the entire time, and NOT fall flat on her face. Truly amazing. She did about 10 snippets of her various songs, and about 5 snippets of Beyonce's songs for whatever reason. All with her eyes closed, and with the energy of an 85 year old woman with a broken hip. At precisely 2:57 am, Trina began to say her goodbyes. Her album comes out May 4th. I know this, not because i was listening, but because she said it about 20 times in 5 minutes. After she walked off stage and into the back, i immediately left.

Sunday was Easter. Family Day. Yall know how that goes. We went to Boomtown Casino to spend the Birth Day Wheel. I lost. So my mom wrote me a nice little check. Thanks mom.

All and all though, my B-Day weekend was great. My friends shocked me. Trina shocked me. Everything was great.

Nicki's Minaj

2010-03-30T09:45:00.000-07:00

I’m a huge Nicki Minaj fan. HUGE. I don’t think she’s the BEST rapper but I do think she is quite entertaining and original. Her lyrics are quite comical. I love her for the same reason why some people hate her. Her characteristics and her gimmicks. She’s funny as shit, seriously. But that’s what separates Nicki Minaj from the other female artist out. Diamond, Trina, Eve etc. Nothing sets them apart from each other. You can only say “eat my pussy” so many different ways. But Ms. Nicki will says she’ll put this pussy on your sideburns (or on chip tooth if your Fabolous). Work OUT Nicki!

Even though I do think everything she does is acting and she is a “character” she’s in fact entertaining. She’s different. Thus her hype....

Which is why she’s all over the place right now. People are just dying to hear her verse in songs because you know it’s going to be something to laugh hysterically at. I also love that she plays up the fact that she’s bi-sexual and doesn’t try to hide it. And she loves signing boobs. That's hot.

But when her 1st official single Massive ~~FAIL~~ Attack featuring Sean Garret, came out I was quite disappointed. Her whole way of entertaining her audience completely vanished. I don’t know why..but my friends blame Sean Garret. It kinda seems like she was trying to go the whole Missy Elliot route. But it didn’t work.

Alas, I haven’t lost faith in Nicki Minaj. I’m sure the video will be sick with visuals and wigs galore. And of course our favorite girl of the moment Amber Rose will be in the video. I can’t wait.

WicKed

2010-03-25T12:01:00.000-07:00

As a huge fan of the book "Wicked" by Gregory Maguire, i was ecstatic when my mother surprised me with tickets to see the Broadway play.

We all know the story of "The Wizard of Oz". Well "Wicked" is the same story, just from the Wicked Witch of the West's point of view. Her childhood, where she is from, and how she became so wicked. It also explains much of her relationship with the Good Witch, Glinda.

Even though the play was slightly different from the book, it still had the same moral. It achieved the same point as the book did.

Elphaba, The Wicked Witch, represents everyone thats ever been discriminated against in life. Her green skin was often the laugh of the small town she was from. She had a younger sister (the one that Dorthy's house falls on), who was crippled and confined to a wheel chair, but still beautiful. Elphaba of course wasn't treated with disrespect because she wasn't your regular standard of beauty. She never agreed with what the masses did. She agreed with what was right. Because she was so outspoken people began to refer to her as "wicked" when she said the things that others were to afraid to say.

Glinda was, what we would consider America's Sweetheart. Blonde hair and blue eyes. From a high class family everyone of course wanted to be her friend and loved her because she was so beautiful. She said and did whatever pleased the masses. And she befriended anyone she needed to get ahead in the most respected social circles.

Elphaba and Glinda end up attending the same school, Shiz academy. And also end up being roommates. They of course initially hate each other for obvious reasons. But eventually they began to understand each other and learn from each other. Their friendship becomes stronger over the years, and is challenged when Elphaba is set-up and turns into a fugitive when standing up and defending a small lion cub (the cowardly lion).

The story is so amazing because you can relate it to so many current events in the state of America now. The discrimination against anything different or anything outside the norm. Being misunderstood just because one speaks the truth and refuses to agree with everyone else just for the sake of being accepted. It's a great read, and the play is great also. Everyone can take something from this book and relate it to any aspect of their life.

Celebrity = Role model?

2010-03-23T08:23:00.001-07:00

Ok, so here's the thing. I'm sure you have all heard about the comments India Aarie made about Lady Gaga's "Telephone" video, featuring Beyonce. If you haven't click here.

So this is my thing. Everyone has an opinion. That's cool. My only problem with her opinion was the whole "social responsibility" part. Like seriously, Celebrity's are not here to raise your children. They are here to entertain and make movies or music. The key word is ENTERTAIN. Lady Gaga shouldn't be anyones role model. And I personally feel like it's the parents job to explain to them the difference between TV and real life. I never saw something on television and was like "I want to be this person." But that's because my parents raised me to be well aware that TV was for entertainment. Acting is ACTING. And Artist put on persona's to sell albums. It's not REAL. And if its that serious then goddamnit they should only watch the Disney channel. If that is even an excuse because those children grow up to. What is your beloved role model seeking child going to do when Hannah Montana starts fucking Zac Efron. I guess it will be Miley's fault when your daughter gets pregnant at 14.

Lil Wayne said it best.

"If you need a role model, then you shouldn't have been born."

The real issue should be these grown ass women dressing like Nicki Minaj thinking that shit is cute. You look a flop and a fool ma am. And EVERYONE is laughing at you!

P.S. At the end of India's little opinion, She mentioned the little girl who said her favorite artist were Beyonce and Lady Gaga. India, shut up with that stupid lying.

Siditty Mises

2010-03-22T08:46:00.001-07:00

So clearly this blogging thing is working out for me. I'll have weekly entry at this bigger blog named Siditty Misses based out of ATL. >>>> Check it out <<<<

Im nice. Not Friendly.

2010-03-21T17:32:00.000-07:00

I thought i would do a blog on the difference between nice and outgoing. Simply because i think people associate them with the same thing. And they aren't totally the same thing. I think being outgoing and friendly does involve being nice, but being nice doesn't necessarily involve being outgoing. I'll explain.

I consider myself a nice person. I'm nice to my friends. My family. And i'm polite and pleasant when introduced to someone i don't know. I have manners. I was raised well. I can sell myself to just about anyone. I know this because i have never in all 24 yrs of my life not blown a job interview away. I always get the job. The only interview i didn't get was at "Footlocker". And thats because i didn't know what Jordans were. I don't wear tennis shoes (or anything with shoe strings for that matter), so it wasn't the job for me anyway. But thats why i do so well in customer service. I'm always the top seller. I'm can be very pleasant to be around. I've even mastered the smile and nod routine when dealing with a rude customer.

But I've never been a outgoing person. Never. I've said before, when i was young, i never played with children. I never wanted to be bothered. It wasn't that i was mean or didn't like them, i just simply liked keeping to myself better. I followed Mother around most of the time. I always rejected the idea of going outside and playing with the neighbors. When introduced to other kids with Mother i was always polite and nice. And on occasion i was even forced to go birthday parties.

Most people at school and church thought i was mean. Of course until they spoke to me and found out i wasn't as mean as i looked. But i never went out of my way to get to know or meet people on my own. I stuck to my small circle of friends and that was always enough for me. That's kind of like it is now. Many people think i'm so "mean" because i'm pretty much anti-social. I don't really like go out of my way to speak to people i don't know. And unless we have been formally introduced, i'm NOT going to speak to you. I mean i don't know you.

Why am i like this?

I really don't know to be completely honest with you. My father is anti-social. His mother was anti-social. So maybe thats why. I've always been a person who would rather sit and observe people and their actions before i dive in head first and be all "Hi, I'm Jonathan, and you are?" Most people take that as me being mean. And of course that, mixed with the fact that i will be completely honest with you about any and everything, have people thinking that i'm the devil. But i'm really not. I just prefer the truth before a lie, and to keep to myself, before socializing with a group of potential friends/ enemies.

Chris Brown has lost it.

2010-03-12T15:56:00.001-08:00

You ever met someone who was completely crazy? Just delusional? They saw one thing when the entire world saw something else. Lives completely in their own world and nobody ever tells them to SNAP OUT OF IT! Thats pretty much Chris Brown these days. He's completely lost his damn mind. The boy has lost it. A few days ago, Chris Brown got one whatever radio station or whatever outlet he took to (since he has no twitter anymore) to whine about stations not playing his music or whatever. This is what he said....

“I ain’t never really did this but right now I need all of my fans help. A lot of radio stations aren’t playing my records. They are not being that supportive and I wouldn’t expect them to. It’s on the fans and what you guys do in your power to bring me back. That’s all I need is you guys and nothing else will do that except for the fans. I don’t know what else to say. It’s nothing else that I can do. I’m doing everything that I need to do. I’m doing me as a person and I’m a better guy. It’s on ya’ll. My singing and my music I do it for you guys and everything else but it won’t be possible if I’m not relevant on the radio and it wouldn’t be possible for me to be an artist if I don’t have the support. I can’t be an underground mixtape artist. That’s where we are. I just want all my fans to help me. I love ya’ll. Peace”.

Chris Brown is delusional. I'm dead serious, this kid needs a serious and i mean SERIOUS wake up call. This isn't the 1st time he has gone crazy talking about the radios aren't playing his songs, and different places aren't selling his CD's. But any person in their right mind knows that we are in a recession. If wal-mart is doing so well in this awful economy that they can refuse customers to sell Chris's (mediocre) album, then i think we are all in the wrong business. I mean after he blurted it out on twitter calling out a specific wal-mart, the manager of that wal-mart then responded saying his album was sold out. You fucking fool. Of course, a day later his twitter account was closed.

Further more, for some reason or the other, in Chris's little crazy mind, HE WAS THE VICTIM after HE viciously beat his girlfriend until she was unconscious. Making comments like "Oprah didn't reach out to me" or "Alot of other male actors didn't reach out to me either" and then getting mad saying "Fuck the industry, everyone turned on me". Um..how can i see this lightly...

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT?

I guess he let his "fans" gas him up on twitter to believe that he could make a come back in such a short time. With out any live performances. And without saying pretty much next to nothing about his domestic violence "situation" in a number of different interviews i might add. Oh yea, and a bogus apology that was clearly read from que cards. And then Rihanna comes and in 1 hr she says exactly what he couldn't say in 5 different interviews. Why? Because her no singing, stiff, stage presence LACKING ass knows the formula to keep herself relevant and successful! CHRIS is the talented one! Not her! But he's flopping (he's only sold 290k to DATE), and here she is prepping for a world tour.

I don't know who this kid's team is, but he needs to fire them all and start over. He needs to also get a publicist to monitor anything that comes out of his mouth because he clearly doesn't know what to say. When asked about the Tiger Woods situation hes replies "I totally support Tiger, and i believe the public makes things worst, and your personal life should be personal." trying to reference and compare it to his situation. Chris you silly goose. That comment is NOT going to help YOUR career! Your in NO position to try to support anyone doing anything short of volunteering at a homeless shelter, let alone a habitual cheating husband with a sex problem. Of course most would agree with him, but because its CHRIS BROWN it's going to be viewed as a problem. if Will Smith said it, it would be different.

I don't know what else to say about this poor little lamb but i wish him the best. I hope he finds some common sense and learns what and what NOT to say. For that mouth of his is going to be the death of his nearly dead career. Stop crying and whining and DON'T let your little random fan base of 13 yr old girls who don't have any money, convince you that something IS what its NOT. Heidi Montag seemed to think that because she had 2.5 million followers, that should would sell no less then 2.5 million albums. She only sold 600. Get my point. Wake up Chris! Contrary to popular believe i DO want you to be successful. But I also want you to learn when to just shut the fuck up.

"I aint one to gossip, but.."

2010-03-10T17:00:00.000-08:00

Now i need you to listen closely and read intently to what i'm about to say here.

Everyone Gossips

Not one person in this world, does NOT gossip. Maybe what you gossip about is different. But it's still GOSSIP. Your mother gossips, your father gossips, your grandmother gossips,your church members DEFINITELY gossip, your preacher gossips, and so does his wife. Every single person you've ever met in your has something to say about someone else. EVERYONE.

I personally, don't think anything is wrong with Gossip. As long as its with the right person. And notice i said PERSON. The mistake most people make is gossiping with someone who's loyalty lies somewhere else. If you tell someone something about their best friend, they are GOING to tell them. Now weather or not they say your name is completely up to them. But you better believe that, that friend is going to beg and plead to know who released this information. And if their a good friend, THEY WILL TELL THEM. Because their loyalty lies with their best friend, not with their associate. It doesn't make them messy. It makes them loyal.

When i have something juicy to talk about, i tell one person. And one person only. And vice verse. We both know that whatever is said will stay strictly between me and them. And it works out well.

I'm also a fond believer that some things you just need to keep to yourself. I'm not a person who has to repeat everything. Sometimes you just have to take things and keep it to yourself. Everything isn't worth being repeated. And half of the time its not even necessary. Especially if you don't know the whole story.

In closing, i always live by this quote

"Your opinion about me, is none of my business"

So talk about me as you must. Just make sure you do it with someone you trust. If it gets back to me, i won't get mad. Everyone has an opinion. Who i date, and what i do, for some reason, is big talk a lot of the time. I don't really mind. But don't you think for one second i don't have an opinion about you. And that your dirt isn't out on the streets.

That is of course if i even know you, which normally...is never the case.

Howard Stern on Gabby

2010-03-09T13:55:00.001-08:00

So right after the Oscars, radio's favorite douche bag Howard Stern made these comments about Gabby Sidibe (aka Precious).

"There’s the most enormous, fat black chick I’ve ever seen. She is enormous. You feel bad because everyone’s pretending she’s a part of show business and she’s never going to be in another movie,” Stern said. “She really should have gotten the Best Actress award because she’s never going to have another shot. What movie is she gonna be in?”

“‘Blind Side 2,’” Stern suggested. “She could be the football player, take out the whole front line.”

“It’s so sad you want to say to her, listen honey, you got a little money in the bank, go get yourself thin. You’re gonna die. And now she’s famous and she’ll never get another acting job”

Stern, on the air with his co-host Robin Quivers, also played the speech given by Oprah Winfrey to Sidibe at the Oscars on the program. The hosts said Oprah was lying to her by saying she’s going to have a career in Hollywood.”Come on, be honest wit and the girl,” Stern said. “Look in that room. Who else do you look like? Those are the people that work all the time,” Quivers agreed.

Now i'm not going to lie and say i've never cracked some jokes about Gabby. I have. And i "slightly" agree with some things he has said. I dont think shes going to have some break out career b/c of her role in "Precious" because of her weight.But i also think that there are people in Hollywood who don't meet America's standard of beauty and are widely successful. I mean Whoopie Goldberg is a prime example. And i do believe Gabby IS a good actress. "Precious" was a great movie. I'm sure Gabby will be fine in the end. I bet you in a few months she starts loosing weight though...talking about she wants to get "healthy". No you want to get WORK!

Your Preference. My Preference.

2010-03-01T09:53:00.000-08:00

It infuriates me when women have the audacity to get mad at interracial relationships. For one, if he weren't a celebrity/ Athlete you wouldn't give to shits about him anyway. But 2nd because people act like having a preference is wrong.

Let my explain something, everyone has a preference. No matter what you end up with, you have something you prefer. Most women prefer tall men. So your discriminating against short men. Its no different. And what kills me is most of the time the women mad about the fact that some black football player has married a white girl, are usually the ones who prefer light skinned boys! But want to get mad and heated. Like seriously, shut the fuck up. Get over it. People like what they like, and if it's not you then oh well somebody will love you.

The other argument is that they are turning on their race. I'll say this as nicely as i can. Black women, and white women, are raised COMPLETELY different. Their morals are different, their back round is different.

When i was in the 7th grade i went to a Christian school. Most white, few blacks. I played football. White girls are all i knew. After i left that school i went to another school, this one catholic, which had more white people. And the few black girls that they did have were simply not attractive. Again, i only dated the white girls. Now after i left that school, i went to a public school. All black. My freshman year, was my year from hell. And after i left that school i swore i would NEVER date a black girl as long as i lived. They were loud and argumentative. Would hit you at the drop of a hat. Always angry. What? Fuck that! I'm going back to Suzy! Then i went to St. Augustine High School. which is the only all black all boys catholic school in the state of Louisiana. And there i was introduced to other black girls in private schools who actually had a good head on their shoulders. Not trying to fight me or yell and scream at me. That is when i began dating black women. My sophomore year in high school. But imagine if i never went to St. Augustine. And graduated from one of the 1st 2 white schools i went to. How would my mind be? Call it ignorance, or whatever you want, but that's the way it is. Black women have a stereotype of being "mad". Angry. Argumentative. And in the south, it normally fits. Not ALL black women are like that by no means. My mother and my sister are nothing like the stereotype, neither or many of my friends. But i know many who are. And white women..well we know how they are stereotyped. And its usually true also. Not all, but a good bit.

So why blame an NFL player? You should blame society.

And have you looked at Kim Kardashian? Have you seen that ass? Ya know what,you should be mad. Stay mad.

A Perfect World.

2010-03-01T08:53:00.000-08:00

In a perfect world racism wouldn't exist. Gay people would be understood. Religion would be one. Everyone would understand each other. There would be no violence. There would be no stereotyping or prejudice. Everyone would get along and live happily ever after.

I think some people really believe that one day we will all live in a perfect world. A world where racism won't exist, and gay people will have equal rights and be able to marry. That "their" religion "catholic" or "baptist" will be THE religion of choice. Or maybe that people just won't be atheist. That everyone will "accept" God.

Well, i know that this isn't true. I know that racism, will NEVER go away. I know that gays will never be understood, nor will they ever NOT be discriminated against. And my views on religion are very simply: I believe in God: Period end of story. I mean the world has come a long way, but lets be real: Ignorance is Bliss.

So i always wonder why people find the need to be so passionate behind religion and racism. I know so many black people who are always ready to pull the race card out. Just waiting to be offended. It was just recent when John Mayer's interview with playboy infuriated about every black man, woman and child. Yea his comments were i guess what 1 COULD consider offensive. But John Mayer is an OFFENSIVE person in general. He also disrespected his ex-girlfriend, along with many others in that interview. People where outraged. I wasn't. He's offensive, he was trying to be funny, and it was a tragic failed attempt. I never gave 2 shits about him anyway, nor do i now. But my black people why do we give a shit what people have to say about us? That's what i don't understand. Do you feel like you have something to prove? Or defend? I can't let ignorance offend me or ruin my day. I simply cannot. There is so much more to look forward to in life rather then defending your race. Im black and i'm proud. I don't have to wear a shirt or scream it from the roof or defend my race every time someone says the "N" word to prove that. Racism is a form of ignorance. And IGNORANCE will NEVER die.

Now religion is another touchy. Because God forbid religion didn't exist, the world would be in chaos. I definitely need the bible to let me know that "killing, stealing, and cheating is wrong." And i also need that good man made book to let me know that being Gay is going to land you straight in hell. Along with all the other cheaters and liars. No, i'm sorry, if they repent and accept God, their good. But not you evil gay people. You can't get married because its ruining the "sanctity" of marriage because of what the Bible's description of Marriage is. I personally, agree with Whoopi :

"If you don't support gay marriage, then don't marry a gay person. If your not gay, this has NOTHING to do with you!"

So what the FUCK do you care for?

My point is this. Everyone believes what they want to believe. Religion is something that is consistently shoved down our throats. And people are so argumentative when it comes to it. Their belief is the right one. And yours is wrong. And Jesus said this. And God said that. Look. Your belief is your belief. Mine is mine. You go to your church on Sunday. I'll go to mine (if i wake up). Don't invite me to your church, if i don't inquire about. Its rude. Now THAT offends me. Especially when i don't ask you. Because your basically saying "Whatever your beliefs are..well its not good enough, come listen to what my Preacher has to say". And then i'll watch him leave in his Bently or fly off in his private Jet. I have a special relationship with God, that is none of anyone else s business. And it doesn't require me to pay someone else's car note.

The purpose of this blog was basically just to say that life is to short to worry about the things we cannot change. The worst kind of passion is the mis-directed kind. I just hate when people are passionate about things that require no passion. Loosen up your tie a bit, and let the ignorant shit go in one ear and out the other. And when confronted about it just say this :

"Our President is black. And he supports the Gays. So what were you saying?"

Thats the nice way. But we all know I'm not nice. So i always use my fav:

"Wait what? Shut the fuck up."

Insane.

2010-02-22T21:25:00.000-08:00

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

At least thats Albert Einstein's definition of it. But there is so much truth to that little "quote" it made me sit back and think. And whats even scarier...just think about how many people in your life this would apply to. You probably know more people who are insane rather then sane. I know i do.

Thats including myself.

But the real question is, are you really expecting different results? Or are you just ACCEPTING the fact that the results won't change. I know thats probably the case with myself in most situations. Which is a problem. I wonder if theres a definition for that.

Hmph.

Mr. West

2010-02-20T20:13:00.001-08:00

Mr. West and I have a love/hate relationship. I mean seriously, i admire this man so much i named my child after him (by child i mean dog). It's strange because all the things i love about him, also can be the reasons why i hate him.

1st before everything i admire the fact that he's an artist. I real artist. Not just a rapper. But a poet. He has some of the most motivational songs I've ever heard. All of his albums are lyrical masterpieces. He's one of the best dressed (if not THE best dressed) black men in Hollywood. His fashion sense is sick. Then the fact that he's always been one to speak his mind. He doesn't let his publicist speak for him. He says whatever the fuck he wants. I always felt like he was speaking for US. He'd say it in the most blunt and aggressive manner. Not because he's an asshole (well he is an asshole) but because he's passionate. I love that. I always thought if for some reason i was ever to become a celebrity i'd probably be like Kanye along those lines. I say things that normally provoke people say i'm mean or i'm an asshole, but i just feel like you can't suger coat anything in life. Just lay it out all on the table. It's not always going to be nice. Sorry, but swallow it and shut the fuck up. Life goes on.

But then Mr. West got Hollywood. He woke up and looked in the mirror and realized how great he was. He begins to throw these temper tantrums everytime he doesn't win an award. He'd always give some kind of explanation for his tantrum but so fucking what Kanye. How many other celebrities do you think we're tricked into attending the VMA's and promised something they didn't receive. You don't see them throwing tantrums and shit. It's ridiculous. He throws the tantrums, he attacks the paparazzi (i dont blame him for that 1), he starts saying all these statements like "I'm doing what the fuck i want now, and i don't care what my fans think." In reference to his entire album being auto-tune. Or when he totally went off on that journalist for giving his concert a +B talking about "Fuck him he doesn't know real music and art". When in actuality i FLEW to Atlanta to see his concert and honestly would have gave him a -C. It was OK. It wasn't GREAT. And last but not least the Taylor Swift incident. Normally Kanye has his tantrums back stage, why couldn't he wait! Of COURSE Beyonce deserved the award Kanye! You didn't have to go up there and shit all over Bambi in front of the whole WORLD. I was FURIOUS! For a whole month i dealt with these stank looks whenever some random person would stop me while walking my dog and ask"Whats his name?". I couldn't even defend him. Of course everyone heard about the "alleged" tantrum he had on a flight last week. He denied it on his blog . Saying he hates being lied on and don't believe everything you read. But i mean it's not like its TOTALLY outside of your character. You have a history of tantrums sir!

After some time i got over it. I still love everything Mr. West stands for. He makes some mistakes. He's an asshole. But in the end i'll probably still support him, even though i swore i wouldn't. And i hope he learned his lesson about humiliating little helpless white girls. Instead of just letting her accept her award in peace, he now got her a damn Grammy. I could only imagine how that tantrum panned out where ever he was. i know it was ugly.

World Class Liar.

2010-02-18T09:25:00.000-08:00

I remember the 1st lie ever told to me. It was by my (then) best friend Al. Al (real-name changed) and i were in the 2nd grade. We were having a debate about who would win out of a fight between Jean Gray and Rogue from X-Men. We were X-Men junkies. Had all the X-Men cards and comics and watched the show every Saturday morning. I was team Rogue (i mean let's be real, she's damn near super-man with out the x-ray vision) and he was team Jean Gray. Of course, debating is my best, and at every angle i believed Rogue could whip Jean's ass, and was proving it quite well. Then to advantage Jean Grey he blurted out that she could fly. We both knew this wasn't true. But Jean was loosing her battle. So he insisted that Jean Gray could fly. We had our fun debate until our parents arrived to pick us up that evening.

When i got home, i remember vividly racing into my room, ripping through my X-Men cards collection till i got to Jean Gray's card. Of course under her list of mutant abilities, flying was not one of them. I was furious! That lying little fucker. He knew that bitch couldn't fly! I wanted to call him up and read his ass for FILTH! My christian mother, of course wouldn't allow that. So instead I immediately decided we couldn't be friends anymore. He's a liar and i obviously couldn't surround myself with someone like that.

Of course having the kind heart that i do for my friends, me and Al continued being best friends from 2nd grade up to 6th grade. Through out those years he lied compulsively about any and everything. I remember one time when we were mad at each other and hadn't spoken for like 3 days, he came to me one day, while we were in a group of friends and said "Jonathan, my mom has cancer." I had 2 options:

A.Embarrass him in front of the 4 other people around because i knew he was lying.
Or
B. Be friends with him again, because my best friend was in pain.

Everyone was surprised and looked at me like i was crazy when i responded
"I need to hear that from her doctor."
He started crying. Everyone looked at me like i was the mean asshole. I began to feel bad. So i took him back into our friendship circle, which he had been exiled from for almost a week.

The next week i asked Al about his mother's cancer and he responded "Oh she's better."
Lying. Little. Fuck.

Me and Al were not longer friends after the 6th grade. We still to this day see each other randomly and he runs up to me and talks about all the things he's doing and the amazing relationships hes in and blah blah blah. All of which I'm sure is a lie. We've exchanged numbers a few times. The problem is he changes his number about once a month to escape some scandal he has created.

I hate liars. I can't stand to be lied to. My mother always told me: The easiest thing in the world to do is to tell the truth. And i believe her. I don't know why it's so necessary for people to lie about things. I know people who lie so much i actually question if they know the truth themselves. They actually believe these lies that they're telling me. And the only thing worst the a compulsive liar, and is BAD compulsive liar. Now its one thing to lie. But to tell me a bad lie, that just offends me on another level. It insults my intelligence. You actually think i would believe something as foolish as that? It's a sure to to immediately end our friendship. And if we do continue to be friends, i won't believe one word you say to me, which eventually will cause you not to want to be around me. I can be very blunt when i know I'm being lied to. They normally evoke statements like
"Look, get out my face with that dumb lyin." when being nice.
or Simply
"What? Shut the fuck up." followed by an vicious eye roll.

As far as the lying for cheaters. I myself am never offended by the "act" of cheating (unless its sex). I'm always more offended by the lies the other has to tell to accomplish the act. That is what ruins the relationship. Not the act. Giving into temptation i can understand. But the lying to cover it up. The lying to make up for the unexcused time. The lie about how yall met, through who, and why yall are communicating in the 1st place. That is what kills me. If you lied about that, how much more do you lie about? I know people hate to be caught. I myself have lied to get out of things. But i always feel terrible and i know the easiest way to get out of a lie now is to just not do it in the 1st place. If you have to lie about it, don't do it.

So before you form you mouth to tell you friend/spouse a lie just remember this: 9 times out of 10, the lie your about to tell, sounds like a lie. And just because the person your lying to doesn't argue with you about it, doesn't mean that they believe you. It simply means they have written you off as a liar, and therefor no further effort to argue with your lying ass is needed. I hope you sleep well tonight.

Fashion: Tom Ford

2010-02-08T21:54:00.000-08:00

Tom Ford's spring look book, which made me seriously gag. I almost teared up at the sight of these blazers and bow-tie combination s. If you ever had to wonder why I'm on a quest to be skinny and rich...these images should help you understand.Enjoy!

Thanks Jeremy Dante for the images (www.jeremydante.com)

The "F" Word.

2010-02-04T12:15:00.000-08:00

Friend: a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard

That's the dictionary definition. I guess we all have different definitions of what a friend is. I personally feel like people don't know what a "friend" is. The word is thrown around so often now a days that everyone you say "Hi" to more then once is a friend. I guess because you see each other out, and have held more then 1 conversation, you are friends now?

A friend is someone who you can relay on. Someone who you know is loyal to you no matter what the circumstance. The person you can gossip (and you know you gossip) with and it won't be told to 3 or 4 different people. The person you can tell you deepest secrets to, and they won't judge you. They will always tell you if your being dumb in any situation, even if it may hurt your feelings. And you BETTER NOT talk bad about MY friend in front of MY FACE because that..lets just say that wouldn't end nicely. Friends are completely ready to defend a friend against ANYONE at any given moment.

I look at friendships almost like i would an intimate relationship. Your going to have your ups and downs in a friendship. Your going to have disagreements. You may even have fights. But that doesn't mean your not friends. Me and my friends almost NEVER agree on anything! And they always tell me how i work on their nerves. You think i care? Nope. Why? Because they are my friends, and i know at the end of the day, they are still my friends. We are loyal to each other even if we argue and fight sometimes.

So before you start throwing the "F" word around think about how close are you REALLY with this person? Just because yall ride together to the club doesn't make them your friend. Just because you have their phone number doesn't make you their friend. Would they defend you in a heated debate with someone else? Even a family member? Would they fight for you? Would they fuck your EX? If the answer to any other these questions is YES, then the answer is NO.

The Grammys: History was made

2010-01-31T22:59:00.000-08:00

Tonight Beyonce Giselle Knowles made History. She is now is the Highest earning Female of Grammy awards in one night. She beat Lauren Hill, who won 5 out of her 10 of her nominations in 1999. Beyonce won 6 out of her 10 nominations. And she's in 2ND place for the most Grammy's EVER in one night. She's tied with Quincy Jones and Eric Clapton. Of course the most Grammys won in one night goes to no other than Michael Jackson with a whopping 8 awards. He's tied with Carlos Santana (huh?). Beyonce always makes me proud.

Oh yea..by the way..Keri Hilson won nothing.

Hot Mess of the Month.

2010-01-31T01:56:00.000-08:00

At the end of every month of I'm going to post this. Its just basically our fav celebrities, at their absolute worst. It's really just for fun and laughs. Enjoy.

Kelis. Who ruined a perfectly good pair of Alexander McQueens with this hideous outfit and her lions tail. Amber at Fashion Week. A dress from her old job.
And Ciara. Giving me big Bird couture. And Rihanna, who has just lost her damn mind.

Lady Gaga at the Grammys. Yall know i love her but what was this? Seriously. I had to rewind and laugh about 4 times.

Fucking Posers.

2010-01-30T16:10:00.000-08:00

We live in generation now where the internet is accessible to everyone. You can do anything, find anything, find anyone, and BE anyone. And I'm not talking about just putting up a fake picture and and "posing" as that person. No. I'm talking about posing as your NEW self. The person who you have created behind you desktop. The person you wish you were so bold to be.

People abuse Facebook now. Facebook was made to keep up with your friends and family. To "network". Now its basically to sell yourself. I find so many of my friends who i thought i knew, have transformed into this NEW person. Now i know we all grow up and change. But some people really go the extra mile. You all know the kind of people I'm talking about. The one who thinks he's a real live celebrity. Posting pictures of all the celebrities he (allegedly) hangs with, when in actuality we all know he's simply stalking them. The friend who posts all the Gucci shoes, Chanel boots, and the new cars (that they bring back the next day) when they really just got fired from their job for stealing. And nothing is worst then when you see these little basic bitches commenting on their photos. Impressed by the lies they tell and the new life they feed you all via the internet. It's funny because you know that THEY don't know them in real life! They know them on facebook! They don't know that when you actually meet these people, they tend to be broke, hustling to meet these celebrities, and lying and stealing to attain these designer labels. All to impress who? Who are you trying to convince? I always wonder who they think actually believes in this faux lifestyle they lead. Your 1500 followers on twitter? Your 4000 friends on facebook? If fame and fortune is their goal, then why not just work hard for it? I always thought that was the surest way to achieve it. I mean, do you think Beyonce took to myspace posting pictures of all the celebrities she met when she was trying to come up? I'm sure she didn't. She was to busy WORKING trying to come up the honest way. BE YOURSELF! Your real authentic self. I don't know when being yourself became such a bad thing. But these people clearly don't like their authentic self. So they create the fake one. The one they believe people will love. The one that you think will bring them success, and money, and friends in the right places. When really, it takes work. I always get a good laugh going through a certain someone's pictures and reading the disclaimers under their photos. Disclaimers SCREAM insecurity. The obvious should NEVER need to be explained. I always think this: If you have to say your exclusive, your not. Because if you are, people will notice. People will notice, if it is what it is. You'd be surprised what people notice. From the glasses on your face to the shoes on your feet, people WILL notice.

But sometimes it really gets so bad, that its not even funny anymore. I just shake my head because these "posers" are truly delusional. These friends that i once had and knew, have truly lost themselves. They've lived this faux life for so long they have forgotten that its not really them. Their real authentic self is lost! And once you've lost yourself, your real self, i don't know what can save you. There's no formula for that one. And i truly feel sad for them.

You know that saying :If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, then its a duck. I don't agree. Because under certain circumstances things definitely can look like something its not. One day i went outside to take out the garbage. It was dark (the circumstance). I saw a small animal, that the common eye would perceive as a cat, scurry into the garbage can. About the same size as a cat. light fur. 4 legs. Long tail. When i got to the garbage can and looked inside, you could imagine my surprise when it wasn't a cat. It was a possum. Not the small cute animal i was expecting. A hideous evil little rodent with eyes red as blood and teeth sharp as nails! Of course i did what any full grown man would do: dropped the garbage, shrieked like Mariah Carey, and ran into my house like the Precious ran with her box of chicken.

The internet (the circumstance) can make many people look like their someone their not. If i didn't know these people who i speak of ( i will not mention names, I'm more then sure they know who they are) i might actually think they were doing something productive with their life. That they actually were on the come-up or had the money they try to perceive they have. But in actuality, they sit in the same VIP section as the rest of us. Have the same money. And are just fans of those celebrities just like the rest of us. I used to laugh. I don't laugh anymore. Delusion is a serious condition. I hope they get well.

The Amber Rose

2010-01-29T15:46:00.001-08:00

I never could get on the Amber Rose train. I mean, yes she is a very unique beauty. She's blonde, she's bald, and her face still looks stunning. Not many bitches can pull that off. She actually looks better WITHOUT hair, then she did with long hair. I think i couldn't get on the Amber Rose train because i'm simply not impressed with her fashion sense. Before you start screaming and cursing and calling me a hater just let me explain myself 1st. Ok, so she does wear somethings that i am like "Wow, that bitch did it. She's beat." She does it OFTEN. But more then often, she just throws on your basic American Apparel tights with a mid-drift top. And people scream and throw up confetti for her. And IF she's not trying to bear all, she has on a very provocative body suit. The times i have seen her dressed up, I want to applaud her for finally looking classy and "fashion forward" but the giant sleeve on her arm makes it close to impossible. AND she wears colored contacts! I feel like colored contacts are seriously played out!

Like I've stated before, I'm not in the business of hating. I applaud Amber's come up. And i don't judge her for being a stripper. But i simply feel like some of her outfits don't let us FORGET that she was a stripper. You have money now honey. Dress like it. The 1st day of Fashion Week in Paris she busted out with the fur. I LOVED it! She gave me life. The 2nd day, she pulled out a dress so trashy I'm sure some local prostitutes were trying to buy it right off her back. I just don't know what she's going for. And of course on Day 3, she went right back to the basics. Mid-drift top with jeans (and the LV fur). One thing i will applaud her for is her shoe-game. Its sick. Anyway. Carry on Amber.